Michael Douglas Asks Matt Damon If He Wants The Top Or Bottom

September 23, 2013 / Posted by:

Seen above sexing that Emmy with his eyes like he wants to eat her out until she squirts cancer into his throat, Michael Douglas won the Emmy for Best Actor in a Movie or Miniseries for playing Liberace and he shoved as much as he could into his speech. Michael Douglas spit out a few gay sex jokes, gave a shout out to his probably-soon-to-be-ex-wife Catherine Zeta-Jones and then got political by saying that his son is in the chokey and they (the head prison bitches) won’t let him visit. MD’s speech had it all!

Michael Douglas started his speech with some good old-fashioned hand job and butt sex jokes by saying that the win is a two-hander and told Matt Damon that half of the award belongs to him, so does he want the top or the bottom? Please. Like Michael Douglas has to ask. We all know that Michael Douglas is a chatty, bossy bottom who doesn’t shut up.

MD explained to reporters afterward that he included the part about wanting to see his son soon, because he’s not allowed to see Cameron. MD’s oldest son Cameron is serving a 10 year prison sentence for selling meth and he can’t have visitors for 2 more years.

“Well, my son is in federal prison based upon -– he’s been a drug addict for a large part of his life and was arrested and selling drugs and is in federal prison. And part of their punishments if you happen to have a slip -– this is for a prisoner who is nonviolent — as about a half a million of our drug addicted prisoners are, they punish you. So for my son’s case, he’s spent almost 2 years in solitary confinement and right now I’m being told that I cannot see him for two years.

It’s over a year now and I’m questioning the system. Obviously, at first, I was certainly disappointed with my son, but I’ve reached a point now where I’m very very disappointed with the system and, as you can see, from what [U.S.] Attorney General Eric Holder has been doing — and other issues regarding our prison system — I think things are going to be revived regarding nonviolent drug addicts/criminals. My last comment on that is the United States represents 5 percent of the world’s population and we have 25 percent of the world’s prisoners.”

I have a feeling that Cameron isn’t that sad about his dad not visiting him for the next two years. Because Cameron knows that if MD came to visit, he wouldn’t stop talking about Matt Damon fucking his ass in an HBO movie.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

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