Hasn’t Detroit Been Through Enough?!!!?

July 29, 2013 / Posted by:

No. No. No. No. Detroit needs a $20 billion advance from Check Into Cash and 20 billion kittens wearing vests made of one dollar bills and a billionaire sugar daddy. What Detroit DOES NOT need is a bratty, come-to-life Kid Sister doll rappin “Lose Yourself” in front of a bunch of fetus-aged Beliebers who probably have no idea what an Eminem is.

During his show in Detroit last night, Justin Bieber’s mouth queefed out the opening lines of “Lose Yourself” and he did it while wearing an outfit he obviously stole from Ron Johnson Jr. The Biebs should’ve never done this and he should never do this again. This is like singing a Prince song in Minneapolis when you’re not Prince or wearing Lucite heels on the ho stroll when you’re not Shauna Sand. The right words weren’t even coming out of Justin’s mouth hole. A drunk baby high on painkillers from teething (side note: you’re supposed to rub Vicodin jelly on a baby’s gums when it’s teething, right?) would’ve done a better job.

And if Anybody’s from West Side Story moved to L.A. and joined the Bloods, she’d look just like Justin Bieber.

Here’s the Biebs, his cheetah Audi and Jaden Smith at Selena Gomez’s 21st birthday party over the weekend.

Pics: Splash

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