Kristen Stewart And Robert Pattinson Are Living Together Again

September 26, 2012 / Posted by:

I’m not Jewish, but I think I’m going to join the Yom Kippur fast today, because my taste buds deserve the day off after all of my senses were affected while thinking about the kinds of fondue the Twihards made their in their chonies after reading this story at UsWeekly. How will I ever enjoy a meal at The Melting Pot every again?!

UsWeekly says that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are totally back together in every way including sharing bathroom counter space, which they hardly ever use since they never brush their teefs and wash their faces. Who knows if they’re living together in the Los Feliz house RPattz put up for sale or the Malibu house KStew recently bought, but they’re living together again somewhere. If you need to read this news directly from the unnamed source’s unidentified mouth instead, here you go:

“They are living together and have reconciled.”

There! Confirmed!

There’s one pro and one con about this highly important CNN-worthy news. The pro is that RPattz can finally throw away the silicone mold of KStew’s pit he had made. Now RPattz can wake up, stare into and make out with the real thing. For RPattz, the best part of waking up is pit stew in his cup. The con is that RPattz has put Bear Pattinson-Stewart in charge of giving KStew the “Smell Yo Cooch” test every night to make sure her box doesn’t reek of movie director saliva. Poor Bear Pattinson-Stewart wishes his parents stayed split.

Here’s KStew at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris today looking like a teenage hustler who uses his shirt as a pizza napkin and cum rag. KStew is in Paris to join the other miserable hungry-faced fashion people at the Balenciaga show tomorrow.

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