Because your Facebook feed isn’t already filled with a bunch of sappy bitches slobbering over how their pieces went to Jared and slipped an engagement ring on their finger over the Christmas holiday, here’s another one to keep your heaves going. No, this isn’t a picture of Blanket Jackson getting the life sucked out of him by a Dr. Evil on roids. It’s everyone’s favorite bongo-playing stoner Matthew McConaughey kissing on the mother of his 2 chirruns, Camila Alves, after proposing to her on Christmas Day. Today, the definition of “precious” is the image of Matthew getting down on one knee, pulling out a shiny marijuana leaf ring and trying to put it on Camila’s finger with those tiny T-Rex arms of his. I bet bitch couldn’t reach and had to use a grabber. Matthew Twatted this afterward:
Just asked camila to marry me, #MerryChristmas 26 Dec
Matthew and Camile have a 3-year-old son named Levi and an almost 2-year-old named Vida, so some whores are saying throwing these two a “WHY BOTHER?!” side-eye. But just because they already made two baby friends together doesn’t mean they no longer have the right to ruin each other’s lives by getting married! So I say, congratulations, and I also say, DAMN FUCK THAT’S A BIG ASS HEAD. It’s almost like a Kardashian goiter.
Buddy Hinton – Remember this bitch? He used to taunt Cindy Brady about her lisp until Peter shut him the fuck up by knocking his teeth out. Do you really blame Buddy? Cindy was pretty fucking annoying and basically couldn’t talk.
Chyna (40) Hayley Williams (23)
Pleasure P (27)
Alice Kim (28)
Emilie de Ravin (30)
Javine (30)
Masi Oka (37)
Wilson Cruz (38)
Bill Goldberg (45)
Eva LaRue (45)
Salman Khan (46)
Theresa Randle (47)
Joe Mantello (49)
Maryam D’Abo (51)
Tovah Feldshuh (59)
Terry Bozzio (61)
Gerard Depardieu (63)
Mick Jones (67)
Cokie Roberts (68)
