Hot Slut Of The Day!

Ginuwine has jumped off that pony to present to you the perfect cup of sweet nectar deliciousness for you to sip on as soon as your New Year’s Eve orgy with Andre ends tomorrow morning. It’s Adult Chocolate Milk! John Travolta’s asshole can close its mouth and stop begging like a chick waiting for food, because it’s not that KIND of adult chocolate milk, unfortunately. Adult Chocolate Milk is a fine 40 proof beverage made of leche, chocolate and vodka! Yes, a few glasses of Adult Chocolate Milk will probably leave my nose kissing toilet water for the rest of the night, but I must git me some! It’s like a party in my mouth….but a hangover in my bowels. YAY! For now, Adult Chocolate Milk is only sold at a few Costcos and restaurants and liquor stores in CA, NM, NV and AZ. It’s going to go nationwide sometime next year.

And I really hope Adult Chocolate Milk eventually comes in a small box (with attached straw), because I know a few hyper brats that really need this in their lunch box.

via Daily Mail

Birthday Sluts

Donna Summer (62)
Donald Trump Jr. (33)
Joey McIntyre (38)
Lance Reddick (41)
Gong Li (45)
Nicholas Sparks (45)
Michael McDonald (46)
Val Kilmer (51)
Bebe Neuwirth (52)
James Remar (57)
Tim Matheson (63)
Diane von Fürstenberg (64)
Barbara Carrera (65)
Taylor Hackford (66)
Ben Kingsley (67)
Anthony Hopkins (73)
Rita Lee (83)

Negative Ten

And Dudley Moore just ran the other way… But on a positive note, when the entire paint team from Color Splash doesn’t slather layers of Benjamin Moore (in shade: carob) and mahogany varnish on Kim Kardashian’s face, she actually looks like a real-life human person who breathes in oxygen with the rest of us!

This Is What Happens When You’re Married To Russell Brand

The motherfucker takes a picture of you SANS FARDS and making a “Is this real life?” face (or maybe that’s a “WRONG HOLE!” face) after you’ve just woken up. And then not only did Russell Brand capture Katy Perry in her most vulnerable state, but then he uploaded onto Twitter for a hot second before snatching it off. THAT BITCH. Katy better get revenge on Russell by taking a picture in his most vulnerable state: without jeggings on. Although, Katy will have to patiently wait until Russell rubs up against a rock and sheds that shit off, because jeggings are definitely his second skin.

via Too Fab

Tara Reid Has Found True Love Again!

Sadly, it looks like Tara Reid just couldn’t make love work with Michael Assman, the Internet millionaire who made prostates percolate and gaydars crash, reboot and crash again. But fear not, Tara has found a new love to hold her hand so she doesn’t drunkenly stumble into the gutter and to wipe the vom from the corner of her mouth after she neatly barfs into her purse in the middle of a crowded bar (a ladylike talent I’ve seen for myself LIVE and in person). Tara posed outside of a restaurant in Copenhagen last night with her new boyfriend Michael Lillelund, a Dutch businessman-type who is most likely now fluent in the language of drunkensluranese.

You know, I have a feeling that this one is going to work. And even if it doesn’t, at least Tara will be one step closer to completing her life goal of getting blackout wasted in every country. Guinness World Records better save a spot!

How Can Kelsey Grammer Offer Camille ONLY $30 Million?!!!!

Will you take a look at that beautifully precious face that looks like a Madame puppet that barely survived a terrible tanning bed explosion? What kind of MONSTER would deny that face half of their fortune? Ask your grandma what her favorite sitcom that’s set in Seattle is and you’ll get the answer: FRASIER!

We already know that Camille deserves $50 million from Kelsey, but now Page Six is saying that he tried to completely rip her off by offering her only $30 million! Yes, ONLY $30 million! It’s going to cost a lot more than that to get Tennis Nick to leave his wife (that bitch is married, right?) for Camille. Kelsey is so fucking selfish!

And if that isn’t already a work of hateful evilness, a source says that Kelsey doesn’t want to give Camille spousal or child support on top of the $30 million. THE AUDACITY! Since Camille is a serious business woman in the body of a Saran-wrapped gecko, she shut Kelsey’s offer down. A source went on to say, “She rejected an offer from Kelsey just before Christmas. He wasn’t offering child support or alimony, and told her through his lawyers that she’d get enough in the settlement. Because there is no prenup, Camille was certain she’d get up to $50 million, because she’s a partner in his TV company and entitled to half the money he made from shows, including ‘Frasier,’ while they were married. “She has accepted their marriage is over and that he wants to marry Kayte in January. Camille wants it all over, too. But what she can’t accept is how he’s parading around Kayte, who looks like the cat who swallowed the canary. Their public make-out sessions are really insensitive because of their kids.”

Anybody who watches Real Housewives of Beverly Hills knows that Camille has REAL bills to pay. She has to pay her house manager, her four nannies, her stylist (who also gets a bonus for being her friend), her medium (who also gets a bonus for being her friend), etc… etc… I know that Camille may look like she’s made of melted orange Nerf balls bought at a KB Toy Store fire sale, but it takes a lot of money to be her. If Camille had to make a sandwich for her own kids, the planet would stop spinning and plummet to our DOOOOOOM!