Cameron Is Getting Hers

Leonardo DiCaprio and Jude Law are both wiping zit semen off of their nutsacks, because The Sun claims they are both playing around with Cameron Diaz.

Apparently, Cameron started her tour of wonky hairlines last week when she bumped it with Leonardo DiCaprio in London. A source type says that Leo is ready to pass his peen around after recently splitting with Bar Rafaeli. The source went on to say, “Cameron has been showing a lot of interest while he is in London filming. She was back at his rented apartment in Knightsbridge, west London, a couple of times last week after a series of secret dates. They were joking with friends that they played chess together.”

As for Jude, Cammy was seen leaving a club with him in London on Sunday night. The same source who is yapping about the Leo shit said that Jude is trying hard to get a chance to pop Cameron’s pimples with his wang, “Jude and Cameron have been good friends since they filmed The Holiday together a few years ago. Now they are both single, things are a bit different between them. Jude has been flirting with her and she has been playing along.”

You know, I can’t help but think at how hot a threesome starring these three would’ve been like 10 years ago. But now, thinking of Pizza Face Diaz rubbing it on these two just makes me hongray for a salami sandwich on sourdough with extra Thousand Island dressing.