Greasy Tears

Somebody needs to tell Greasy Bear that McDonald’s is hiring. It would be a match made in greasy heaven! Greasy is reportedly broke as fuck and doesn’t have a greasy den to call his own. Page Six reports that Greasy has been crashing on the couch of Scott Storch. Unfortunately, it looks like he’s not welcomed back. One night after partying with Scott, Greasy crashed on his sofa. Scott woke up the next morning to find Greasy gone. His $100,000 watch was also missing.

A source said, “The next morning, when Scott got up, Brandon was already gone – and so was Scott’s $100,000 diamond encrusted watch that had been in the same room the night before. Scott called Brandon and told him the watch was missing but, ‘It’s OK – I just got a new security system, so everything’s on tape.‘”

A source said that Greasy immediately started crying and promised Scott he would bring the watch back. Scott felt bad, so didn’t call the police. When asked about the incident, Scott said, “I heard about this. Give peace a chance.”

If you leave your douchey $100,000 watch unprotected near Greasy Bear, you deserve to have that shit snatched. Fuck, I would lock up my refrigerator and pantry if Greasy Bear stayed on my sofa. I would also have to cover the sofa with industrial strength plastic.