I’m going to assume that the editors of Interview magazine enjoy the smooth refreshing taste of crack in between story pitches, because their upcoming spread for September’s issue couldn’t have been conceived while sober. They have officially claimed silicone’s one-and-only BFF Kim Kardashian West as America’s New First Lady. Pull out your tissues, ladies and gentlemen, because you’re gonna roll your eyes so hard they may start to bleed.
According to UsWeekly, Kim and her favorite accessory, four-year-old daughter North West, continued the time-honored tradition of family fame whoring by appearing in a mother-daughter spread where Kim is styled in an homage to late first lady Jackie Kennedy Onassis. The problem with that, is Jackie O. exuded class. Kim’s photos look like what you’d get during Dollar Drag Night at a rundown bar.
During the interview Kim opens up to Janet Mock about a few topics, including the idea that she’s talented for no reason.
Kim shut down accusations that she’s famous without having any discernible talent. “If I’m so not talented, if I do nothing, then how is my career my reality? And I poke fun at it, like when I was on the cover of Forbes, I posted the hashtag #NotBadForAGirlWithNoTalent.”
She also spoke about what it’s like to raise a biracial child.
Kardashian also opened up about raising a mixed-race girl in the current political climate. “I’m very conscious of it. Kanye always has his family around and people who look like my daughter – that’s important to me. She’s obsessed with her curly hair, and if she finds someone who has the same hair, she runs to them and is like, ‘You have curly hair like me?'”
And you can thank photographer Steven Klein (who photographed Kim’s butt ass-nekkid cover for Love magazine in 2015) for this ode to blasphemy. He went on to say:
“When Kim and I work together, each time we look for a different approach. We have no desire to repeat ourselves or reference anything she has done previously. For this shoot I wanted to capture feminine beauty as an expression of empowerment and self-respect. Also, to highlight Kim in a chic manner that is retrospective of a time and yet modern.”
Do you still have your eyes after all that rolling? I think I’ll take mine out now and soak them in a bit of vodka. Wait, did I say eyes? I meant liver. I’m going to soak my liver in some vodka after this shit. But if I have to say something nice, the best thing I can say about this whole concept is little North looks adorable!
And I’m hoping that she makes enough money from this photo shoot to open a bank account to pay for the eventual emancipation she’ll be filing for in nine years.