When we last heard about what Ben Affleck’s now-single peen has been up to, sources said that it wasn’t really make regular visits to the crotch of anyone in particular (in non-confusing Dlisted speak that translates to: “Ben really wasn’t dating anyone.”) But now People, E! News and UsWeekly all say that Ben is regularly humping on Emmy-winning Saturday Night Live producer Lindsay Shookus, who was one of Billboard’s Most Powerful Women in Music last year. And just like that a hundred “Ben Affleck’s Got A New Girlfriend And We Are SHOOKUS” and “Ben Affleck Is All Shookus Up” headlines were born.
Ben and Jennifer Garner were in the Bahamas with their kids last month and they also spent Fourth of July together, so some people started to think that they shredded those divorce papers and then had make-up sex on top of that pile. They’re not back together, because Ben is busy rubbing his luscious tits on his new piece. E! News got pictures of Ben and Lindsay going to a restaurant in L.A. last night and there’s pictures of her leaving his house. Lindsay was married to fellow SNL producer Kevin Miller and they have one kid together.
A source tells E! that things between BeShook are new, but that it’s more than just a summer hook-up. A different source tells UsWeekly that last week, Lindsay was in London where Ben was doing re-shoots for Justice League. And yet a different source tells People that Lindsay is staying at Ben’s house. That source also had this piece of info about their date last night:
“They arrived in a limo. They looked happy. They had a quick dinner and then returned to Ben’s house.”
A limo?! Ben’s midlife crisis has taken him all the way back to his teen years. He’s traveling around like a junior going to prom.
X17 (so take this with a salt lick) says that Ben dated Lindsay before he got with Jennifer Garner. They also seem to think that after Ben and Jennifer became a thing, he still boned Lindsay on the side.
The truth is, this news does have me shook….us. No, I’m not shocked about Ben possibly cheating on Jennifer since the beginning. That’s not shook-worthy. I’m talking about the fact that Lindsay Shookus is 37 years old. That’s young, but I really thought that 44-year-old Ben’s first post-Jennifer girlfriend would be a barely legal Instagram THOT who’d Snapchat them freak dancing to a Calvin Harris song at Delilah and who’d post a pic on Instagram of her wearing nothing but a bra, chonies and his Batman mask. Ben should be ashamed of himself. No self-respecting, midlife crisis-having dude would date someone who was alive when Bush senior was president!
Pics: Wenn.com, AP