After Mariah Carey perfectly ended 2016 with a rhinestone-embedded and Spanx-wrap train wreck in Times Square, the camera cut to that shady little Ghoulie Ryan Seacrest saying, “No matter what Mariah does, the crowd absolutely loves it.” I did give that shifty Bronzer-dipped toad points for throwing that tiny bit of shade. But after I gave him points, I wondered if the black sheep of the Keebler Elves snuck into the sound truck and used his little evil elf fingers to turn off the sound in Mimi’s earpiece. I mean, Ryan is partly responsible for unleashing the Kartrashians on us, so he knows all about how to pull shameless stunts for attention. Mimi and her people apparently think the same thing. They’re screaming SABOTAGE!
Mimi’s manager Stella Bulochnikov (the one everyone hates) tells Billboard that Mimi’s earpiece wasn’t working before her performance and the tech people from Dick Clark Productions kept telling them that it would work out. Stella can’t believe that Dick Clark Productions did Mimi dirty by not cutting to commercial or dropping her performance from the West Coast feed, especially after she so graciously gave them the gift of her during her vacation!
“We told them [the stage managers] that the in-ears were not working 10 minutes before the performance. They then changed the battery pack, and they were still not working on the frequency four minutes before the show. We let them know again, and they just kept counting her down and reassuring her that they will work as soon as they go live, which never happened — at which point she pulled them out but could not hear the music over the crowd.
After the show, I called [Dick Clark Productions’] Mark Shimmel and I said, ‘What the fuck happened?’ He said, ‘Let me call you back,’ then called me back and confirmed the in-ears were not working and asked if I would make a joint statement. I said, ‘No way.’ I asked him to cut the West Coast feed. He said he could not do that. I asked him why would they want to run a performance with mechanical glitches unless they just want eyeballs at any expense … It’s not artist friendly, especially when the artist cut her vacation short as a New Year’s Eve gift to them.”
I was going to say that I bet DCP is looking for the gift receipt so that they can return that performance, but they definitely love how much attention that disaster is getting. Mimi’s people also point out that in the interview with Ryan before her performance, she complained about not being able to hear him (it’s at the end of this clip).
Stella also dramatically tells The New York Post that if they don’t get a formal apology from DCP, they may sue. Stella doesn’t think that DCP deliberately messed with Mimi’s sound, but she thinks that they let the train wreck going for ratings. The Post also posted the crazy CAPS-FILLED e-mail that Stella hit DCP with:
“You know her inner ears were NOT working and your entire production team did not set her up to win. AND MARIAH KEPT TELLING THEM [something was wrong] ON STAGE IN REAL TIME/
THEY KEPT IGNORING HER. SHE TOOK A HIT HONORING HER COMMITMENT TO YOU. I SHOULD HAVE PULLED HER OFF THE STAGE THIS IS SABOTAGE.”
Dick Clark Productions denied the sabotage claim. Another source put the blame on Mimi’s tech team and Mimi herself for not rehearsing and not doing a sound check.
I did wonder why they let that fiasco go on and didn’t cut to Ryan. But Ryan was probably jacking it while thinking about how they were about to become the #1 trending topic on Twitter and the eyeballs of the people watching at home really didn’t need to be tainted by the sight of a fapping lizard. They also could’ve cut to Jenny McCarthy, but the people didn’t deserve that either. Their eyeballs were already tainted enough by the sight of the anti-vaxxing peroxide predator in a foreskin coat:
Those people are definitely thinking to themselves, “Don’t make eye contact with the peroxide predator… don’t make eye contact.”
An investigation (led by Detective La Toya, of course) into this disaster should definitely be launched, because it’s THAT important. But I have a feeling that at the end of it, investigators will declare that Dick Clark Productions did commit sabotage. They sabotaged themselves by booking Mariah Carey to do a live performance on the biggest drinking night of the year.
And can it really be called “sabotage” if the end result was the greatest performance of 2016?