Tobey Maguire Might Be Coming For Leonardo DiCaprio’s Spot As The Pussy Posse Alpha

November 22, 2016 / Posted by:

Pussy Posse Alpha” doesn’t just sound like a sorority house on the campus of Hoochie U, it’s also apparently something that Tobey Maguire might become. Tobey Maguire was one of the original member’s of Leonardo DiCaprio’s Pussy Posse (rebranded in recent years as “The Wolf Pack“). Sadly, he had to give up the model-humping lifestyle when he got married and had kids. Last month, Tobey Maguire split from his wife Jennifer Meyer, and of course he slipped right back into the Pussy Posse’s regular routine of partying and pussy-hunting.

As it turns out, Tobey might soon be more than just a member of Leo’s boys club. According to Page Six, Tobey could be THE KING! This is some manwhore Hamlet shit. A source claims that the rest of the posse sees there’s a potential spot open as the alpha douche now that Leo is busy with steady model piece, Nina Agdal. I guess Lukas Haas asked the rest of the Pussy Posse who they think should lead the group, and apparently they want Tobey. The source says, “The Wolf Pack [is] now using Tobey as Leo.” I hope Tobey doesn’t get the boat barfs, because he’s about to spend all his free time on a yacht in the middle of the ocean. Lukas might want to start running motion sickness drills with him right now.

Tobey bought a huge new house last week, and I thought that seemed a little weird for a bachelor pad, but now it all makes sense. Tobey was just settling into his role as the new Leo. He obviously needed some extra room to accommodate the dozens of panty models he’d be bringing home from Paris on the Pussy Posse’s private jet after the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show next week.

Pic: Splash

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