Mick Jagger Shows Ronnie Wood That His Jizz Has Still Got It Too

The next time The Rolling Stones do another big tour, the dressing rooms will be filled with more whining, slobbering and cries for a diaper change than usual. 69-year-old picked zombie Ronnie Wood welcomed a double bundle of baby into his life just a couple of months ago. And now, Mick Jagger’s 72-year-old baby-making parts are feeling real proud of themselves today, because they still got the stuff that can knock a trick up.

The Sun was the first to report that around 3 months ago, Mick Jagger’s sperm fish injected liquid Centrum Silver into their sperm veins, did a few stretches and huddled around for a pep talk before swimming for their lives through the coochie hallway of 29-year-old American ballerina Melanie Hamrick. One of Mick’s sperm completed its mission, because Melanie is pregnant with his 8th child. Mick’s eldest kid is 45-year-old Karis Hunt Jagger and his current youngest is 17-year-old Lucas Maurice Morad Jagger. Mick also has 5 grandchildren and 1 great-grandchild. Melanie Hamrick is the 5th member of The Mick Jagger Baby Mother Club. If you’re wondering what Melanie Hamrick looks like, here you go:

The Sun says that Melanie and Mick first met backstage at a Rolling Stones show in Tokyo in February 2014 when he was still with fashion designer L’Wren Scott. Sources claim that Melanie and Mick didn’t get together until later (uh huh). Sources say that Melanie’s poon started doing pirouettes on Mick’s great-grandaddy dick just a few weeks after L’Wren committed suicide in March 2014. Melanie was engaged to Cuban classical dancer José Manuel Carreño, but they reportedly broke up not long before she met Mick.

Just because Melanie and Mick made a fetus together, they’re not looking to get married or even change their relationship status to “serious.” Melanie currently lives in NYC, but once she officially retires as a professional ballet dancer, she plans to move to either Los Angeles or Connecticut where her family lives. She has no plans to move to London to be with Mick full-time, and that works for him too.

“Melanie is very American and doesn’t want to move to London, even though they’ve been seeing each other regularly over a long period of time now.

Mick likes the arrangement they have and doesn’t want to be in another formal relationship. The plan is for Melanie to move out of New York and be based in LA, where Mick spends a lot of time, or Connecticut where she knows people.”

“A REAL ‘Merican doesn’t get in the family way with a Red Coat!” – someone’s uncle on Facebook, probably.

Every time some old ass man makes a new baby, many people spit out words about how selfish he is. But is Mick Jagger so selfish? I mean, a human gets to live a lush life thanks to that Rolling Stones money, the people who process child support checks are getting more work, Mick’s lawyers are making more money and Melanie Hamrick will be inducted into The Gold Digger Hall of Fame. Mick Jagger’s jizz is keeping the economy alive!

Pics: Wenn.com