Blake Shelton Is Suing InTouch For Saying He’s A Drunk Mess Who Once Peed On A Mailbox

Back in September, InTouch ran a cover story accusing Gwen Stefani’s country bro rebound boyfriend Blake Shelton of being a binge-drinking drunk who was forced into rehab after his ex-wife Miranda Lambert caught him in bed with a bunch of naked women. They also included a laundry list of alleged ways that Blake is a mess, including (but not limited to) drinking vodka before 11am, showing up to The Voice hammered, and drunkenly peeing on a mailbox.

Even though In Touch’s story read like the plot description for a direct-to-CMT parody of Leaving Las Vegas, Blake thought it was believable enough to qualify as slander and he’s lawyered up for real this time. Page Six says that Blake is suing InTouch’s publisher, Bauer Publishing, for $2 million dollars. According to the lawsuit, Blake makes it very clear that he has never been to rehab or hit rock bottom, like the cover claims. He also says he doesn’t have a drinking problem, doesn’t drink vodka before 11am, has never been drunk on The Voice, and my personal favorite, has never “urinated on a mailbox.” Blake Shelton: not a mailbox pisser! He also claims that Miranda never caught him with a bunch of naked chicks in their house. Maybe he saved it for his tour bus?

Page Six says that Bauer responded by claiming everything they said about Blake was “substantially true” and that they want his lawsuit thrown out.

I understand slapping at someone for talking shit (or piss, if you will) about you. But I’m not sure why he’s going after InTouch for $2 million. Especially since they’re doing a great job of writing the kind of fanfiction that keeps us interested in his current relationship. Besides, he’s acting like chugging vodka before noon and showing up to work drunk is a bad thing. I mean, around here, that’s the sort of stuff that will win you Employee of the Month.