Burger King Is Paying For The Wedding Of A Man Named Mr. Burger And A Woman Named Ms. King

April 7, 2015 / Posted by:

I believe this is what’s known as playing America on expert level. The State Journal-Register (via NYDN) says that last week, a 24-year-old dude from Illinois named Joel Burger proposed to his 23-year-old girlfriend Ashley King. Almost immediately, people started referring to it as the Burger-King wedding, because – DUH – that’s their names. But then the actual Burger King caught wind that a Burger-King wedding was happening, and they offered to foot the bill for the future Mr. and Mrs. Burger-King. A spokesperson for BK says:

“When we heard about the happy Burger-King couple, we felt an overwhelming urge to celebrate their upcoming marriage. On so many levels, it felt like fate. They found each other and their story found us.”

In case you’ve forgotten, this isn’t the first time Burger King has wanted to be a part of someone’s wedding.

A wedding paid for by Burger King is good, but what would really make this story great is if Joel Burger and Ashley King decided to have their wedding in a Burger King. It would be perfect! They could walk down the “aisle” (aka a bunch of WET FLOOR signs covered in ketchup-soaked carpet) to a choir of teenagers singing “Have It Your Way“. The ceremony could be conducted by The Burger King himself – or if he’s too busy, his wife, The Dairy Queen. The bride could staple a veil to her paper Burger King crown, and instead of exchanging wedding rings, they could use onion rings. Everybody knows the best jewelery is the kind you can eat.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the San Fernando Valley, I’m sure two recently engaged porn stars are now trying to get their wedding sponsored by In-N-Out.

Pic: SJR

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