QOTD: Kate Upton Wishes She Had Smaller Tits

Kate Upton saying, “I wish I had smaller tits,” is Kate Upton’s way of saying, “I wish I wasn’t famous and a millionaire.”

Kate Upton has a pair of magnificent chichis that look like two fat angels taking a long nap on pillows made of clouds and they’re a HUGE part of why she has millions of dollars, two Sports Illustrated covers, a Vogue cover and they’re the reason why the bed sheets of many teen boys are crusty and can stand up on their own. But Kate tells The Sun on Sunday (via Page Six) that she wishes her all-natural, organic titty bags were attached to her body by velcro so she could rip them off and put on a pair of Keira Knightley-sized tits every now and again. Yes, magnificent chichis are good for all sorts of things like cracking open watermelons and holding all your necessities (examples: iPhone, lipstick, stash of weed and lube) when you don’t want to carry a purse, but Kate says that she wishes the tits that shoot out hundred dollar bills were smaller.

“I wish I had smaller boobs every day of my life as I love to wear spaghetti tops braless or go for the smallest bikini designs. Every single day, I’m like, ‘Oh, man, it would be so much easier,’ especially if people didn’t constantly bring them up. But the grass is always greener, as they say! If I could just take them off like they were clip-ons.”

The most surprising part of all of this is that the person who interviewed Kate was able to write the words that came out of her mouth while not looking at their notepad because their eyes were glued to her huge, money-making chichis the entire time.