Dylan Farrow accusing Woody Allen of abusing her when she was a little girl was brought up on The View today and you’d expect Botox-brained Jenny McCarthy or Whoopi “Rape Rape” Goldberg to fart out some stupidity wrapped in what-the-fuckness, but Barbara Walters did the honors today. Barbara Walters sat next to Stephen King in the Team Woody section of the auditorium when she defended Woody Allen by saying that she knows him well (because Barbara Walters knows every famous bitch well) and he’s a loving, caring father to his two daughters. Barbara’s defense would make complete sense if all child touching trash were openly shitty people, looked like the It clown and abused kids in front of everyone, but we all know that just because the outside says, “loving and caring father,” doesn’t mean that the inside doesn’t say, “child touching trash.” But Barbara kept rambling on and threw down for Woody:
“I know Mia. I have a good relationship with her, but I’ve been with Woody many times with his two daughters. He’s got almost a twenty-year-old marriage. I have rarely seen a father as sensitive, and as loving and as caring as Woody is to these two girls. I don’t know about Dylan, I can only tell you about what I’ve seen now, that it’s a good marriage and that he’s a loving, caring father. I think that has to be said.
Supposedly, she’s very angry and she’s doing it now, because he’s up for an award. The question is does your personal life interfere with the awards?”
While wearing a Peter Pan ass wig, Sherri Shepherd threw herself into the ring and told Barbara that we always hear things like, “Oh, he was such a nice man,” and that we never really know what goes on behind closed doors. Sherri went on to say that Woody was messing with Soon-Yi when she was just 17 so he has a record of messing with youngins. Barbara couldn’t wrap those points around her head and she kept arguing with Sherri.
I just… I just… When you’re in a race of reason with Sherri “The World Is Flat” Shepherd and she crosses the finish line while you’ve barely limped a foot away from the starting line, it’s time to get off the track. And Sherri did it while wearing a Peter Pan ass wig!