Nick Lachey Tells Us What We’ve Already Known: Kim Kartrashian Has Always Been A Shameless Fame Whore

April 18, 2013 / Posted by:

Long before Kim Kartrashian replaced whatever was left of her soul with Botox and filled her uterus with the Illuminati’s chosen one, she dated Nick Lachey for a quick second. You might be saying to yourself, “I didn’t know Nick Lachey had a black dick.” The year was 2006, so Nick was way more famous then than he is now and that’s why Kim screwed with him.

In hell’s official bible Kardashian Konfidential, the KKK’s ghost writer writes that Kim’s first touch of fame came when she went to the movies with Nick Lachey and pictures of their date showed up in the tabloids the next day. Details (via Radar) asked Nick Lachey if humanity can blame him for kreating the Kartrashian kunt monster and he said:

Nick: That’s one way to interpret it. Let’s just say this: We went to a movie. No one followed us there. Somehow, mysteriously, when we left, there were 30 photographers waiting outside. [Laughs] There are certain ways to play this game, and some people play it well.

Details: She also had some help from that sex tape.

Nick: Yeah, well that was already in the can.

“Already in the can...” I see what you did there, Nick. While I can appreciate Nick telling the world what we’ve already known, he is dumb for admitting that he screwed with a Kartrashian once. That’s something you never ever admit. Dudes have gone broke from paying hypnotists to erase that memory from their brains. That’s not even something you want to take to the grave with you. That’s something you want to bury in a landfill far, far away. Nick should just deny, deny, deny. That wasn’t him in those pictures with Kimodo Kartrashian. It was just another buff frog with luscious man titties like no other. I mean, I never knew that Nick was infected with the Kardashian-brand of khlamydia, but now I do. I bet Nick’s son is going to file for emancipation now.

And if you were wondering what it would look like if Gumby ate Pokey and swallowed all of the Blockheads with his ass, here you go:

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