Jennifer Aniston taped an episode of Ellen yesterday (that shit airs today) and right after she farted on the fake rumor that a Friends reunion is happening next year, Ellen showed a clip of what happened when Jennifer Aniston tried to scare a ho. Jennifer Aniston is as good at scaring hos as she is at playing anybody but herself in movies. Ellen asked Aniston if she ever scares her piece Justin Theroux and she said that he’s the one who scares her ass. Justin is always hiding behind drapes and jumping out at her.
“He calls it trickery. But he’s constantly hiding behind drapes. And I’m constantly scared. It’s like, it doesn’t get old on me.”
Oh, that Aniston births out a million laughs a second. Justin Theroux isn’t hiding behind the drapes, because he wants to scare her. Justin Theroux is hiding behind the drapes, because he’s the scared one. You too would be hiding behind whatever you could if before she left the house, your girlfriend chained you to something heavy and put her most trustworthy Cabbage Patch Police Kids in front of you so you won’t try anything funny. (Officer Cutey McPatches sees EVERYTHING.)
Justin isn’t jumping out at Aniston, because he’s trying to spook her ass. He’s jumping out, because he hears the foot steps of another human and thinks that help has finally arrived to rescue him! Then when he finds out it’s just Aniston, he sighs and goes back to his place behind the drapes to drink his Smart Water and cuddle with the blanket she made for him using her dog’s shed fur.
Here’s Aniston talking about Justin’s “trickery” on Ellen.