BREAKING: Angelina Jolie Is Retiring Someday Maybe
If Brad Pitt isn't making every movie screen softly weep by threatening to retire from acting, then Angie Jolie is. While making The Tourist in 2010, Angie told Vanity Fair that she'll stop acting in movies one day. Then during a recent interview with Britain's Channel 4 News about Syria, she said that she's probably going to retire when her child army enters their teen years. In related news, thousands of movie studio employees were told today that they will be laid off someday, because as soon as Angie retires, the movie-making industry will shut down forever. Here's what Angie said about leaving the acting world and if you need to see the video of her saying these words, click here:
"I will do some films and I am so fortunate to have the job, it's a really lucky profession to be a part of and I enjoy it. But if it went away tomorrow I would be very happy to be home with the children.I think I'm going to have to give up the acting as the kids hit the teenage years, anyway, too much to manage at home."
Scientists have temporarily stopped trying to find a cure for everything they're trying to find a cure for, because they need to devote all of their time to finding a way to bottle that Peter Pan's shit. We must find a way to stop the Jolie-Pitt children from aging, because if they enter their teen years, we won't ever EVER get a sequel to Life or Something Like It. How will we go on? First, Amanda Bynes retires, and now Angelina Jolie threatens to retire again? What have we done to deserve this?!
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...because why be there when the kids are little?! That shit ain't important.
An actress that does fake accent badly and who acts really badly retiring PLEASE DO!!!!!!!
Why when her kids are teenagers? most people are busiest when they have young children and babies...especially someone with 6 kids that would never use nannies because they are sooooo hands on.
those kids will be off doing drugs and stuck in a downward spiral fueled by privelege and the unfulfillable void created by trying to live up to famous parents that never stayed in one place more than a week. Depressing but true, she should've taken the time off when they are young and to try and make sure that doesn't happen.
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This bitch promises to retire every couple of years then makes a slew of bad movies. I smell a bomb coming.
It must be a stinkbomb lol
"Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it." Christopher Hitchens
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BTW, did anyone read the story on HuffPo about MikeTyson finding Brad Pitt screwing Robin Givens? God, I need to hear that in an audio form.
Edit: God dammit Lattice! You beat me to it, it was supposed to be my time to shine. (._.)
"Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it." Christopher Hitchens
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Damn y'all, as a 17 year old, y'all just bringing my youthful vitality down. Eh, I'm not a normal teenager anyways, I love my mom and I'm not embarrassed to be seen with her. My father can go fuck himself though.
Anyways, I think her more ethnic kids will behave, gotta keep that green card right?
Angelina can't retire. She's this generations Marlon Brando. In fact, I've decided to start a petition to stop her retiring and to start making at least TWO movies a year.
Submitted by cocoebert on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 4:31pm.
She's starting to look like a Venus flytrap.
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GASP! She is! I'm not even much of an Angie hater. I'm more like an Angie meh-er, but you nailed it, my friend. HAHAHAHA @ Venus flytrap. That's some shit I can so-sign.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Meh, so retire already. The world will keep spinning.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Angie Jo just doesn't want to grow old on screen. I would bet it is her vanity that is getting the best of her. I mean, who really wants to have their aging process immortalized on film for all the world to see? Aging actors are fine, but actresses not so much.
There just are no words that can describe this decision to retire so:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ylh6mNdadG4
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Can we have a more precise time on that?
Is it when the first one becomes a teen? Half of them? Hopefully not all of them.
She speaks like they're all the same age in a clump.
Oh please bitch spare us. Actions speak louder than words. I wish she would piss off for good but she has to keep the brand going, it's all about the brand.
I have no idea why she is considered popular, she has NEVER carried a decent film, they are all shit. When was the last time this bitch or her stoner husband had a hit? Thats why he whored himeslf out to Chanel, which was a disaster and made him a laughing stock.
This pair couldn't fuck off fast enough for me.
Bitch, please. You've been saying you were going to retire for years now, and we're still being subjected to your shiny viper-that -just -smelled -caca face. Do it already so actors with some actual talent can get a chance to really act. And take hipster Benjamin Buttons with you while you're at it.
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That's a very expensive chardonnay you're not drinking...
Why am I thinking of sweaty bacon rind, whilst looking at this pic??
Tiresome.
Mike Tyson talking about the day he found Brad Pitt with his soon to be ex, Robin Givens:
"One day, I’m going to her house to bone her again and no one’s home, and I’m leaving and she’s pulling up with Brad Pitt, and I’m sad," he said. At the time, Tyson did not recognize the superstar actor. "He wasn’t Brad Pitt back then. He was just some little beach-bum-looking dude. 'Hey dude' kind of guy. He was probably selling his body for money or something, I don’t know. He was very pretty."
"I wasn’t thinking about attacking him," Tyson told Global Grind. "I was just depressed I couldn’t bone her no more."
......
Tyson may be a man of simple words, but he nailed this one dead on. A little beach bum!
Oh..So she's working these days? I didn't realize she still had a career to retire from.
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I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
Submitted by cocoebert on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 4:31pm.
She's starting to look like a Venus flytrap.
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She IS a Venus flytrap. She reminds me of Handsome Squidward.
http://9gag.com/gag/208363
I can't believe the gorgeous badass of a woman turned into this ugly prude wannabe
meh!
~~~ Woosah ~~~~
Oh No Please Don't Leave! Hollywood can't afford to lose another anorexic bad actress!
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 3:13pm.
There will always be something more attractive to her, believe me.
This goes for the men she bangs, too. In the eyes of the public she cannot upgrade from Brad, but no doubt she believes she's settling.
I think the audience already retired from her movies.
There's an enormous Chanel No 5 poster at the entrance to the boutique section in Frasers, and Brad's face on it has more lines than a fucking floor plan.
She's starting to look like a Venus flytrap.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 3:13pm.
Heroina would NEVER do anything as thankless and menial as being a regular old mom. You don't get international accolades (or ANY accolades) for taking care of children. It is the job that garners the LEAST respect of anything I can think of.
There will always be something more attractive to her, believe me.
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Don't forget teaching, social work, and elder care, all of which are women-dominated fields!
I loves me some AngieJo, but this trick is a lyin' ass lie!
That is all.
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WHO CARES! YOU ARE A TERRIBLE ACTRESS.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 3:54pm.
maybe I've been watching too much TWD but I feel this needs an arrow to her head.
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Go on......I'm listening.....
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
If Angie and Brad ever retired from acting, the Just Jared Brangeloons would all spontaneously combust en masse.
Hilarity would ensue.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by mefunigirl on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 3:54pm.
maybe I've been watching too much TWD but I feel this needs an arrow to her head.
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Right through that vein.
(Can't stop staring at the ass of the AA Disco Skirt girl...)
Between The Leg incident and the hyper-mortifying Chanel ad, she and Brad have lost their cool cred and it's killing them. They're laying low & "regrouping," hoping the public will forget about how unhip they are, before making a new appearance.
Trampolina could go away NOW and I would not bat an eyelash. (My eyes twitch enough already, but that's another story.)
maybe I've been watching too much TWD but I feel this needs an arrow to her head.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Off Topic: Did anyone else notice that the ad for looking up people's arrest record has a picture f Blohan on it? Haahahaaaahaaahaaa...
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Oh like she's gonna be alive when they are teens.
*takes bets*
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 3:03pm.
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Oh Whamo, you know KTS will become a classic like Fight Club over time, even though it got an "F" Cinemascore. Clearly the few poeple who went to see it were Twilight morons. Wait 'til it reaches Japan! They love him in Japan!
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 3:40pm.
aww poor Whamster -- Chin up - .. hopefully there are some good B'day sluts tomorrow for you to write about ;) later dude.x
Submitted by Thamar on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 2:29pm.
Angelina Jolie is just the world's coolest mom. In every way perfect. Perfect mother, humanitarian, wife. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Perfect. Faultless. Perfect.
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Yer darn tootin'.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I wish she and Brad would retire completely and go the f'away. I hate them both. Both entitled aholes. Can't act and think they're above everyone else. I still don't see why people find Angelina so beautiful. She's definitely not a fugly person, but I've seem many other women who are smarter, prettier and do more charitable work w/o having to have their name mentioned in papers than Angelina.
“Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened” - Anatole France
Who cares!
The DLister nicknames for Angelina (Heroina, Skeletina) never fail to amuse me. I love the shade throwing, she truly is a self important c. =)
Elated maybe, if it happens, perhaps...
Ugh, is she pointing that finger at the sign? *eye roll*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@ Ophy.....actually my car crapped out on me Sunday and it's still in the shop. I've not been in the office the last couple of days and I've just been too busy trying to co-ordinate my projects from outside of the office, I'm totally stressed out. I should be back in the groove tomorrow though:)
@ SweetAss...ITA, I don't think you can throw a light switch on your personality like she's done without everything looking phoney and calculating, she's totally turned off a good deal of whatever fans she had. Being a phoney Mother Theresa anorexic whackjob mom of 11teen kids and having lost her hot is not....hot lol!
Don't let the door hit you in your assbone.
Omg. This again? Her entire career can be wrapped up in a bowl of Tomb Raider shorts, an 8 ball that says "retire, yes" and "retire, no," a UN badge, and a collage of smirking faces.
I can't wait for her Maleficent movie but it sounds like it may be a year from now, Christmas 2013. I think she's the most interesting actor working nowadays.
Angelina is so anorexic that is has aged her 10 years. It's hard to believe she's in her 30s. She hasn't been hot in 5 years. Brad used to be hot too, but I think dealing with Angie and the 75 kids has worn him down, because he's no longer in the same category as Johnny Depp or a lot of the Hollywood dudes in their 50s that are still good looking.