If a mash-up of Carolina Herrera and Gary Oldman as Dracula went to the HERP DERP Salon and told his stylist, “Gurl, give me the Walter Mercado,” this is the beautiful image that would make every mirror in the place steam up. One thing Hollywood has taught us is that the more jacked up Javier Bardem’s hair is in a movie, the eviler his character is. So this is one is definitely skipping hand-in-hand with Lucifer and Pimp Mama Kris on a trailer of charred innocent souls. Bitch is that evil.
Below is the new trailer for The Queen’s homeboy’s new movie Skyfall and besides the regulars, it also stars Javie, Ralph Fiennes, Ben Wishshaw as Q, Albert Finney, Naomie Harris and Bérénice Marlohe. Open your eyes as wide as possible to take in all of Javier’s peroxide glamour:
Daniel and Javier’s scene! Javier is serving up some blond queen cuntiness. When Javier coos at Bond, “Just look at you, chasing spies,” I expected Bond to snap back with, “Just look at YOU, bitch, chasing Swedish guinea pigs to make wigs out of.” Congratulations to Sam Mendes for giving us the most glamorous evil Bond queen of ALL-TIME!
Here’s Daniel, Rachel Weisz and Jeremy Renner at last night’s NYC premiere of that Bourne Identity reboot. I am not interested in that Bourne shit if it doesn’t have a straw-haired Javier Bardem in it.