In “bitches staying messy” news, Bobby Brown was pulled over by the police today in Reseda, CA, because he’s Bobby Brown so they knew he must be up to some backwards shit. No, they pulled Bobby Brown over, because his dumb ass was talking on the cell phone. When the cops walked up to his window, the musky scent of a bar sink filled their nostrils and they pulled Bobby out for a breathalyzer test. Bobby blew over the legal limit and it was off to jail his ass went.
TMZ says that Bobby was taken to the jail in Van Nuys to pose for his (insert the number of times you rolled your eyes at this entire post and then you’ll have the number)th mug shot. Bobby’s “people” somehow got his bail money together by checking under sofa cushions and asking the other members of New Edition to give a FREE BOBBY!!! concert in the parking lot of a laundromat. Bobby bailed out at around 2:30 PST, just 2 hours after he was busted.
If charged, this will be Bobby’s second time at the DUI party. Bobby served 8 days in jail in 1996 after he pled guilty to a DUI in Georgia.
Reading shit like this mess makes me blow an air kiss to my daddy for walking out on our asses so I didn’t have to see him fuck up before my very innocent eyes.
Who the hell drives drunk at 12 in the afternoon on a Monday? Bobaaaaay B, that’s who. Telling Bobby to pull his shit together is a waste since everyone has been telling him to pull his shit together for the past ten million years. Your energy would be better spent on taking off your pants and sliding your ass on the carpet (© Abe from Mad Men).