Rest In Peace, Zelda Kaplan

February 16, 2012 / Posted by:

This picture of 95-year-old legendary clubkid Zelda Kaplan was taken yesterday at the Joanna Mastroianni fashion show just minutes before she died as the second model took the runway. As Riley K (no relation), who sent this to me, said: Now THAT, ladies & gents, is how you make an EXIT!

Ruth Finley was sitting next to Zelda at the show and told The Washington Post that she suddenly slumped over. Ruth thought that Zelda fainted and didn’t know at the time that her spirit was floating on to the great big front row in the sky. After Zelda slumped over, two men carried her away and she was pronounced dead at the hospital. The show still went on and those who knew Zelda say that’s what she would’ve wanted, because she lived and died for fashion.

Zelda grew up in New Jersey and was a housewife from the 50s to the 60s. When Zelda moved to NYC in the 60s, she went from housewife to party girl. Zelda went out almost every night to all sorts of events, only drank champagne and didn’t get up before 2pm. When Zelda wasn’t doing humanitarian work in Africa, she was poppin’ her pussy on the dance floor next to Amanda Lepore and other clubkids.

Some people say that they want to die in a bed of white cotton sheets while surrounded by their weeping family and friends, but fuck that. Zelda showed us how it’s really done by dying while doing what she loved. That’s why I want to die with a Zinger (or a peen, I’m not too picky) in my mouth while writing the words “this stupid bitch” in a blog post about a stupid bitch.

Rest in peace, Zelda. You’re now in up heaven, out-partying the angels.

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