Stop Me If You've Heard This Before
Water is wet, I flicked at my nipple while using the neti pot this morning, Tommy Girl took his toast with a thick layer of nut butter and Lindsay Lohan allegedly snorted her way to fucked up and back on Sunday night. The headline "Lindsay Lohan Gets Loaded at Chateau Marmont" is about as shocking as the headline "Angelina Jolie Only Ate Air Today," but let's hear what Radar has to say about this mess anyway. Radar's source claims that at a SAG Awards party at Chateau Marmont on Sunday night, Blohan slurred her words and her eyes were so damn glassy that you could've cut a line on them. Apparently, she tried to look like the epitome of sober by only sipping on water, but her coke burnt nose told a different story. So said the source:
"Lindsay was spotted going to the restroom with a male companion on numerous occasions in a short amount of time. When the two of them emerged from the bathroom, Lindsay was giggling and her nose appeared red. Lindsay was spotted only drinking water in the lounge area, but she appeared to be loaded on something, and she seemed under the influence. Lindsay's eyes were glassy and her pupils were constricted. [She] was definitely on something. She was slurring her words, and needed help walking at one point in the course of the night. Lindsay was sitting on a chair adjacent to Harvey Weinstein's party - his was roped off and she didn't get past the rope. So she sat on the other side looking over. She looked bedraggled and desperate."
Of course, LiLo's rep denies all of this.
The only language Lindsay Lohan knows is Drunk Slur and her pupils are just naturally constricted now, so it would really be news if she was talking without a slur and walking without tripping over herself. But I CAN'T with her hibernating in the bathroom all night. Who does she think she is? Kim Richards from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? I hate that shit. That is why going to certain places is the worst. There's always some cokehead cokejacking the bathroom when all you want to do is take a quick caca, because you made the wrong decision of drinking a White Russian. You know how some bathrooms have a baby changing station? Chateau Marmont needs a coke snorting station just for Blohan. Let the non-snorters shit!
That freckle on her upper lip needs its own FB page.
*rushes off to make one*
ETA: Done! https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Freckle-on-Lindsay-Lohans-Lip/2606206...
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Hilarious, Vixen!!!!
Her water bottle was probably half free vodka.
How does she get her face to look like it was misted with a fine spray of mother of pearl? I like the peculiar peachy palette of her face/lips, out of context. What kind of facial expression is that? A guffaw? I really think she'd be a lot better off actually going to jail for a while, because she might dry out and come back to her senses. She definitely appears to have very little hope as it is.
Totally agree with others about the veneers. Why do they design them to be laterally straight all the way across? Who has teeth like that? I can understand wanting them straight and white, but at least make the sizes of the individual teeth a little more realistic.
Submitted by Naughychimp on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:50pm.
Is there any way that this girl won't end up like Anna Nicole Smith or Dana Plato? I'm asking this in all seriousness - is there a point of no return, and has she passed it?
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No. Yes and yes.
Sheesh, does she share a plastic surgeon with Josie Mars? Their awful noses look identical!
Is this a riddle? Or is it just me.
"Water is wet, I flicked at my nipple while using the neti pot this morning, Tommy Girl took his toast with a thick layer of nut butter and Lindsay Lohan allegedly snorted her way to fucked up and back on Sunday night."
Lindsey old ho. Ho ho ho.
.
.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
she is high on opiates in this particular picture. that is all.
Is there any way that this girl won't end up like Anna Nicole Smith or Dana Plato? I'm asking this in all seriousness - is there a point of no return, and has she passed it?
Remember how adorable she used to be, long long ago?! http://www.google.ca/imgres?q=lindsay+lohan&um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&...
Oh what IS up with the tip of her nose? That's weird.
And I don't think she's STAYING at the Chateau Marmont, I think she just crashed a party there.
I know it's wrong of me, but I hope she fucks up again.
I don't know if she was high or not and it's completely irrelevant because every day of the week, regardless of what she's sniffing, this disgusting loathsome low-class, low-life Low-han is acting in a disgraceful manner which would bring most people shame. She's a genuine deviant who deserves institutionalization. I hate those fucking freckles ha ha....
HA HA! I think I love you cholamom!
So now what..
What's with her nose tip? Was it always like that and I never noticed or did Lindsay -- *GASP* -- have a little nip-nip done to the tip-tip? (As if that would actually surprise anyone.)
Honestly, I don't know what I'm wishing for with this girl. On the one hand, as a human being, I hope she gets her act together and makes a big comeback a-la Drew Barrymore.
On the other hand, as a black-souled registered gold-card-holder of DListed, I admit that I wish she'd get exactly what she deserves and then some -- long jail time, humiliation, permanent shame, and maybe a job cleaning toilets at the local Popeye's chicken joint where everybody asks her, "Anybody tell you that you look like Lindsay Lohan, but old?"
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I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez
Crush on Sandbitch!!!
seriously, im not surprised anymore.
i feel like we are married to lindsay and our love has lost its flame.
girl you need to do crazier shit if you want to get my attention.
Submitted by LettucePrey on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 6:40pm.
Sandbitch: FUCKING A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was gonna say the same freaking thing about gramma's dentures. Back when the Earth was cooling, and I was young, ya always could tell an "oldster" by the perfect, fake teeth.
ALWAYS!
---Yep, some people might be seeing Lohan but I'm seeing my Nanna gurning back at me right there.
I've seen better flippers on Toddlers and Tiaras.
Sandbitch: FUCKING A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was gonna say the same freaking thing about gramma's dentures. Back when the Earth was cooling, and I was young, ya always could tell an "oldster" by the perfect, fake teeth.
ALWAYS!
Some could hang on to a youthful appearance, but the fake teefs were a dead give away.
Oh, sniff, sniff, I'm now thinking of my wonderful Gramma Kelly.
HATE big ass teefs. HATE 'EM! (i.e., veneers on youngsters).
Kinda looks like she's doing a grind on the front right.
And whoever said it: YES, her rhinoplasty is mos def showing.
She is rocking the shit out of that Kim Catrall look (not really).
Now I feel like a dick for denigrating someone's looks...Kim Catrall, I fucked up and I apologize. Seriously though, how does someone in their early 20s look like a woman in her 50s?
Submitted by Sandbitch: "...expensive toof veneers leave a lot to be desired. That shit costs thousands! IMO, they all look like my Nanna's NHS standard issue dentures from the 50's.
"
Totally!
Personally, I think those are the snap-in dentures. I've seen commercials for them. They're like Invisalign but bright white plastic. AH HA HA HA!
that's probably why she had trouble speaking.
It looks like those caps are ready to pop off.
"Radar's source claims that at a SAG Awards party at Chateau Marmont on Sunday night.."
This is the thing that stands out. Don't you have to be a working actor to attend *anything* involving SAG? When last has she given a command performance outside of a courtroom? The agave she fell into last year probably has a brighter future in the industry.
Did she really think that Harvey Weistein would give her a second look? She needs to face the fact that her career is over.
*yawn* boring news
i have a feeling that i will love her and worship her when she finally is found in a tub dead...
cuz i currently hate her guts
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 2:54pm.
If she were sober, she'd be a redhead. the only way she can think this blond shit looks good is because she is still on drugs!
This x1000. I'll believe she's sober when she goes back to her natural color aka quits having the delusion she's the reincarnated Marilyn Monroe.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 2:05pm.
I know... not sure if it's just a dumbass hillbilly thing or what. If I'm scratchin out rails you can shove the V's up your ass!!
.............
I've heard of people putting Ecstasy or vodka-soaked tampons up there, but Valium? You learn something new everyday...
1. I think it's HIGHlarious that Harvey's table has to be roped off to keep hos like LiLo from approaching.
2. She is sooooooo happy to be flashing those pearly caps.
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"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
Henry Cavill was photographed coming out of Chateau Marmont the other day. I hope their stays didn't overlap. I don't want this trick contaminating any piece of that manly piece of man meat.
Pretty amazing that millions of people around the world can't make ends meet, and this talent-less asshole who "starred" in a string of shit movies can spend the rest of her life crashing fancy cars and snorting coke.
As the Wicked Witch would say, "What a world! What a world!"
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Borrrrrrrrring!
If she were sober, she'd be a redhead. the only way she can think this blond shit looks good is because she is still on drugs!
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Some days I'm a super bitch, up to my old tricks but it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl, out to save the world and it keeps gettin' better
That is some lame-ass hair.
Lachola: Damn roach species known as Lohans.
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Cochitus Lohanus ?? =p
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
@sweetas, I've come to the conclusion that unless you have a mouth like a Glockenspiel (I love saying Glockenspiel, don't you?) expensive toof veneers leave a lot to be desired. That shit costs thousands! IMO, they all look like my Nanna's NHS standard issue dentures from the 50's.
her and demi should become friends. both vacuous talentless media whores who'll take whatever publicity they can get. demi can show hohan how to stay youthful looking and together they do kaballahwalladingdong school and WHIPPITS WHIP IT GOOD
"and her eyes were so damn glassy that you could've cut a line on them." Ahahahha that one made me giggle! MK you are a true poet of fuckery.
OT: Dog, your avie of the puppeh wearing the flower petals too adorable! Awwww
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
pssst Lindsay your nose job is showing.
I don't doubt she was fucked up but the whole "her pupils were constricted" line annoys the fuck out of me. As if this "source" could see her pupils? Annoying
and I agree with whoever said that coke sobers you up.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 2:17pm.
Is THIS the one blonde Jack would not hit? :O
AAAANNNNNNNGGGGGHHHH! wrong.
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
I can't believe that they've allowed her to take up residence at the Chateau; the minimum cost per room is something like $450/night, and she's supposedly broke. The really sad thing is, the Chateu Marmont has really cleaned up it's act since being the "rock n' roll" hangout; it's an absolutely beautiful place and is my favorite hotel. Little miss Cokey McSnortdrug is dragging it down; they should just boot her ass out now, before things get really ugly...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Agreed, she is a rare and rarefied beauty; her veneers are merely the crack in the Grecian urn.
Do you think she'll crash the Oscar parties? Arent the Grammys coming up?
not that i doubt lilo was fucked up, but c'mon -- who slurs their words after snorting coke? if anything, you spit your clipped sentences out so fast that ordinary humans can't follow along. and here's another thing -- why in god's name would you spend the money (given that SOMEone spent the money) on blow just to bring your high down with alcohol or some other trank? maybe she was snorting ludes or oxy or heroin or vicodin or ... a dozen other things. and fer fuck's sake her hair is so fried i don't think she bleached it: the color's just been sucked into her skull by the drugs she's doing.
...
but, then again, what do i know?
Did someone say BLOWhan...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b2t4SNYLbA&feature=related
Nice dentures bitch! Her gums even look that fake denture-y color...lack of oxygen? Lack of a toothbrush?
Party chrashing was old two years ago; she has got to move on to direct 911 calls: "Starlet rushed to IC", "Mystery illness downs actress". Don't let Demi steal your thunder, girl.
How does she keeping getting into Chateau Marmont? How does she STAY in the Chateau Marmont? She practically lives there. They need a giant rat-trap for her.
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Submitted by Few Words on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 1:58pm.
ha ha she was roped off from other table.
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i picture her looking over at the table with puppy dog eyes, the way my dog looks at me through the window when I lock her ass outside in the rain to go take a shit.
"Mommy let me in pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease! I swear I'll be a good girl.......*bats eyelashes*"
Is THIS the one blonde Jack would not hit? :O
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 2:13pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 2:10pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 2:00pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 1:57pm.
Why is Sucky's face glued to a thigh wearing a wig? What is that?
---You're very very very very close.
It's Xtina A'guilera.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Oh shit.
---No, IT'S FAKE TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!