What In Deadliest Catch Hell?
If the Oscars are the main party, the Golden Globes are the pre-party and that means the People's Choice Awards are the keg party in the parking lot before the pre-party. The drinks are served in red Solo cups, the dessert is store bought peach cobbler served in the red Solo cup your drink was in and hos who can't get into the main party are settling in the back of a pick-up for the night. It's a mess, basically. So hos who are going to the Oscars and GGs usually save their best dresses for those shows and wear something from the reject pile to the People's Choice Awards. Case in point: Jennifer Lawrence who led the parade of retina-burning fuggotry last night.
Jennifer Lawrence is supposed to be the hottest shit on the scene right now, so I'm assuming she's got a glam team (or "barf team" to those of us who don't have glam teams) and not one of them stood back while thinking to themselves, "We made this poor bitch look like a fish trapped in a net during a storm." Don't get me wrong, fishnet IS the fabric of our lives, but I shouldn't be looking at this picture and waiting for the late Captain Phil Harris to snatch her up and throw her onto a stainless steel table for sorting. This Sea of Fug look might've worked if they dropped a Gorton's Fisherman hat on her head or gave her a boat necklace or something. But they didn't and so Jennifer Lawrence was a category 5 mess last night.
And here's a few more from last night's The People Should Not Choose Since They Named Lea Michele Best TV Comedy Actress Awards: JL with Liam Hemsworth, Matt Boner, Mop Head, Whitney Cummings (who was creative enough to act out her last name with her face), Miley Cyrus with Liam Hemsworth, Tracey Gold, Ginnifer Goodwin, Ashley Greene, Kathy Griffin, Alyson Hannigan, Hillary Clinton, Vanessa Hudgens, Miss Mexico 1981, Lea Michele, Kelly Osbourne, Ian Somerhalder and Jennifer Morrison (wearing the hanging crochet planter from your grandma's sun room).
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Who the hell is Jennifer Lawrence?
oh gawd it is never a good thing when you mistake ian somerholder for the guy from TRAIN! http://trainrockband.wordpress.com/page/2/
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Ian Somerhalder is so hot there is actually smoke curling out from him in that photo. He and Rob Lowe should play brothers in something (porn).
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 8:49pm.
I will hold you to this prediction. I hope you are right. Man, does he seem too good for her...
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I can't judge... the cheese biscuits at Red Lobster make me wanna touch myself
--Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 9:41am.
Miss Mexico 1981 should know better than to wear that kind of dress to the People's Choice for Crap award. I couldn't name you a song of hers, either.
Lea Michelle is always trying to seem edgy with her dress choices. Bitch, please. It's called trying too hard, and that lipstick is tres tackay.
I just got a magazine where the cover model/actress was wearing a dress like that.
I can't believe that Demi Lovato won anything at the awards, let along beating out GaGa and Katy Perry. People's Choice? The people must be nuts then because Lovato has nowhere near the recognition, let alone the star power, of Gaga or Perry.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
That guy is still with Miley Cyrus?
Wow.
That is all.
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He is one of the stars of the upcoming Hunger Games movie. That movie will make him famous. Then, he will dump Miley's hillbilly ass. He plays the love interest of Jennifer Lawrence in that film. MK can make fun of the dress but bitch CAN act.
Jennifer Lawrence's dress is one of the ugliest dresses I have ever seen. Looks like it came off some "50% off" rack at a shitty department store. How the fuck do you look at that and go OOH THAT IS REALLY CUTE.
As for Kelly Osbourne, somebody mentioned her best friends being teenagers. That's because Kelly will stick like glue to any famous person who will give her the time of day. I bet she calls Lourdes and Miley five or ten times a day and is all "Hey girlfriend, what's up?" and Lourdes and Miley are both sighing and thinking "Oh God, why is this old person calling me again?"
Kelly is so lame on Fashion Police, always sucking up to everyone on the A-List. I laughed so hard when Kelly criticized something Jennifer Aniston was wearing and then quickly followed up with, "But she's still one of the most beautiful women ever," and Joan Rivers laughed right out loud and said, "No she isn't!"
At first glance I thought that was Lee Lee Sobeski. Wonder what she's been up to?
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"'Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' We hear the music and we still think you're insane, bitch. For the record." [Michael K on Megan Fox]
That dress has potential but the fishnet mesh stuff ruins it. Kelly Osbourne just looks tragic (well, more tragic than usual, anyway).
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Matt Bomer is gorgeous! ..the fact that he is gay makes me wanna be a male..and gay..and famous, in hollywood..or maybe just a male ..gay for pay, in a Anne Hache kind way..or something..u get me.
abvn.-
That guy is still with Miley Cyrus?
Wow.
That is all.
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I can't judge... the cheese biscuits at Red Lobster make me wanna touch myself
--Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 9:41am.
I think I'm the only one who likes Kelly's dress. I like dresses that look like they belong on little girls. Kelly's hair tho.... I thought she'd get over wanting grey faster than this. It's been too long.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Kelly Osbourne giving people fashion advice?! WTF? What's next parasite teaching Bible classes?
Who?
<3 Alyson Hannigan
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 1:20pm.
Submitted by Ms.Fit on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 12:57pm.
Jacko, I see nipple pucker on Ashley Greene can you confirm?
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CONFIRMED!
----> HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
I love the colour of Ginnifer's dress, those sleeves are nasty though, and I like Miley's dress too, and Jennifer Morrison's as well- I think that it's cool.
Kelly O lokks like shit- she never disappoints in that department. Gosh, to lose all that weight but to remain an ugly ass fuck must hurt. I do wonder if Demi's dress would look better if it were in different colour.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
No comments on Jennifer Lawrence as Katness in the upcoming Hunger Games? ::sad face::
I actually kind of like this dress!
Miss Mexico 1981? Bwaaaah! Poor Demi!
I like the dress. Love the shoes.
Ginnifer Goodwin's face makes me want to smack her. I don't know why. Ashley Greene looks awful and boxy. Still hate that bitch from Glee. That is all.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Azgirl, yes I see the bulge too.
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Read Triston's Heaux-ventures as he traipses the Heaux-rient Sexpress!
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/01/heaux-confessionals-traispsing-t...
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
Ginnifer Goodwin is a pretty girl, but why the Pepto Bismo dress? Why?
What should have been the main picture is Kelly Osborne (is that Kelly Osborne?) because that girl looks totally BUSTED! Everything is wrong. Hair, face, dress, makeup. EVERYTHING!
I'm glad I didn't watch the show. I gave up on award shows a long time ago.
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
I think Whitney Cummings is in some sort of hag off with Chelsea Handler for the title of Queen of the Anorexia-Bulimia Hags. FYI bitch, when I can eat my Cap'n Crunch out of the hollows in your cheeks, it's time to quit using the fork as a gag stimulator.
Submitted by Ms.Fit on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 12:57pm.
Jacko, I see nipple pucker on Ashley Greene can you confirm?
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CONFIRMED!
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 12:44pm.
She always looks like she has a 6 pack of nuts in her cheeks.
LMAO!! My thoughts exactly, Whamo!!!
Why must it always hurt to look at Kelly Osbourne? The years roll on and she's not getting any smarter.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
Well, neither one of my vagainas would be caught dead in that fugly dress.
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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!
Everyone looks so niiiice. BwHA.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
What in Lady Ambrosia hell is Kelly the "fashion" po-po wearing? Are churning butter now??!!
The Hemsworth family are the new Baldwins. Mmmm Matt givemeaBoner is what Deathzilla(Carson Daly) wishes he could be.
I don't know what the what is going on in that last pic, but make it STOP!!
Jacko, I see nipple pucker on Ashley Greene can you confirm?
Ginnifer Goodwin looks beautiful. Does anyone else notice a bulge in Ashley Greene's dress?
I love the shade of blue on Jennifer's dress, but fishnet/mesh just doesn't work. Not on her or anyone else.
It's a tsunami pattern, the more I look at it.
Submitted by sillykat on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 11:57am.
And Kelly Osbourne might but riding high on her thinness but she looks like a big gray headed pile of dumb.
LOLZ So true!
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"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK
Dear Kelly next time you want to bitch about Christina Aguilera "fatness" take a look at the mirror and face the truth: your body is not meant to be thin. PS You are not cute and you zero talent...I'm done
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In bullshitanese, "no comment" means "fuck yes." Michael K
If her acting jobs dry up Lawrence can always pick up figure skating.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
What in the bloody fug fuggly fugoplis hell did pumpkin headed Kelly do to her hair?
She always looks like she has a 6 pack of nuts in her cheeks.
I have no fucking idea who most of them are but i will say that it looks like the a fancy dress party-what are these people going as????
whose the spooky one in bright pink with a mop of dark hair again?
what a fuck up....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
I love my people and all but this looks like a Telemundo awards show.
https://www.google.com/search?q=jennifer+lawrence&hl=en&prmd=imvnsuol&tb...
IMO Jennifer should always wear her hair down...
Tracey looks wonderful!!!
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...the end
are we sure that's tracey gold and not the chick who plays maya rudolpoh's assistant on "up all night"? i swear chick is tracey gold, junior.
i'll cosign punching fucking whitney cummings in the fucking piehole. hate isn't a strong enough word.
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watching hardcore ufos
there was so much frightful fug in these pictures that i completely missed the picture of that smoking hot ass matt bomer...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Every time I hear Kelly Osbourne referred to as a fashion expert... I remember when my kids liked gothy stuff for a season and at the shopping center there would be some overweight goth girl with horrible tattoos and a nasty attitude ringing up the sale, and I'd always think to myself, that could very likely be Kelly's reality if Sharon and Ozzy weren't her parents.
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The calliope crashed to the ground...
Oh dear, Tracey Gold might want to reconsider bulimia. Or at least something with sleeves.
Oh ew.
No.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by EdDallas on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 11:42am.
If you watch Fashion Police, does anyone else not thinks it's really weird/odd that Kelly refers to Miley and Lourdes as her two best friends in the world. And she gets all genuinely pissed off when Joan trashes Miley or Madonna??
My question: what 27 year-old refers to an 18 and 13 year old as her best friends? I know about the fashion line she's the "model" for blah blah. but it's still weird.
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The 'hanger-on' kind, who has no discernible talent of her own >:(
can we get Matt Bomer and Liam Helmsworth to do a porno together, cause I would watch the hell out of that
Kelly O is gross and every time she opens her mouth I just wanna punch her right in the tit.
Smelly Osborne looks like diarrhea on a stick; but what else isn't new?
Cuppy, you will seem no reason to feel bad for her, she has it under control, LOL
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
@Snowy- I am watching it online today. I am kinda feeling sorry for Dee Sniders wife having to swap.
@Starqz- It IS scary! HE is very scary!