St. Angie Is Lezzing It Up At The Roosevelt Hotel

Two of the biggest international news stories of the year hit this past week (I'm talking about the answer to the question "How do astronauts shit?" and Princess Bea's fallopian hat) and InTouch Weekly still chooses to cover the ongoing recycled drama between Brangelina!!! We should all be comforted by the fact that no matter what happens in the world, come Wednesday Brangie drama will be staring back at us on the cover of some tabloid. The country could sink into the dark abyss on a Saturday, and by Wednesday morning a tabloid cover with the headline "A HEARTBROKEN BRAD SWIMS BACK INTO THE ARMS OF JEN!!!" would magically float to the top of the ocean. The last cockroach on this planet will be killed by a slap from a rolled-up UsWeekly with Brangie drama on the cover. This we know. But enough about that, on to THE REAL NEWS!

A source tells InTouch that the halls of the Church of Brangelina are haunted by the orgasmic screams of Angie Jo's lesbian lovers. While Brad is off saving New Orleans and shooting movies, Angie is scissoring until her halo is knocked off her head. The source says that Angie has a harem of lezzies who regularly meet her at The Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. Angie uses the hotel as her personal side-piece dungeon and doesn't even bring luggage when she checks in. Angie stays for only a few hours and never uses any of the hotel's amenities. The source went on to say this mess: "[She has a] string of female lovers that she hooks up with from time to time. In her mind, it's just sex."

But just because Angie is clitoris wrestling at the Roosevelt, doesn't mean she's not getting on Brad. A different source says that she's always making the water splash with Brad in the sex grotto on the grounds of their Los Feliz mansion.

To recap: Angie has lots of lezzie sex at the Roosevelt Hotel "behind Brad's back" and then has lots of goat sex with Brad in the grotto. The Saint of Nymphos!

But really, Angie knows how to do it. She has hot dildo sex with her down-low lesbian lovers at the hotel and then goes home to do Brad in the grotto. Angie doesn't even have to worry about wiping the scent of burnt rubber and random coochie cream off herself, because the chlorine water in the grotto will do that for her!

via Jezebel

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Zonko on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 11:18am.

Someone (male or female / gay or straight) who just lays there in bed doing nothing (grosses out on doing oral), while the other person does all the work.

A LAZY FUCK.

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 10:44am.

Ok, I'll bite. What's a pillow queen?

♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
"When in Rome...hook up with a Black guy"~Lexi, BGC Season 5.

Submitted by Zonko on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 10:42am.

Submitted by Frank N. Beans on Thu, 05/05/2011

"Yes zonko, I'm a pillow queen.

Why is it that the worst insult a gay person can hurl at another person is to insinuate they are gay too? That's pretty fucked up if you think about it".
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YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GAY TO BE A PILLOW QUEEN !

Do you even know what a pillow queen is stupid ?

Submitted by moomarse on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 10:33am.

Submitted by Frank N. Beans on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 12:03am.
I don't get how gay chicks like pussy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

probably the same way as men do?
oh. yeah.... I guess you don't know about that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of my favorite movies of all time Mi Vida Loca saying:
"Take all of your happy little shit and go."
MK 4/21/11 National High Five Day

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 8:30am.

Does this reveal the blind from yesterday, or the day before????

Either way, I could care less about these two.

I'm so over their relationship drama.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 8:25am.

Who gives a fuck about these two anymore? They are so 2005. I am glad to see that the frenzy over them is dying down.

Submitted by K2 on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 8:21am.

Just b/c people comment on this bullshit, doesnt mean they actually believe it ! DUH.

Opinions are like assholes ... everyone has one.

On that note, I cant stand this woman and I wish the tabs would stop writing about her b/c she's boring and her movies suck ass. It's as if she births and adopts children to stay relevant. It's not as if she's given up her films to actually mother them on a daily basis.... she has a nanny per child (6 !!!) ...so that's a safe assumption.

Submitted by spankypants on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 7:43am.

I'd rather hear gossip about Maddox secretly dating Lourdes Leon, or Zahara putting the twins in the dryer.

Submitted by boston61 on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 7:11am.

She should stay home and take care of those odd twins of hers. The ones who are always staring off into space?

Submitted by Grace Disful on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 6:58am.

Hopefully Brad reads In Touch so he'll know what's going on behind his back!

I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.

Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 6:53am.

Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 8:06am.
What I can't believe is that someone would spend $3.00 on this magazine. Hell, if you're going to spend your money on a tabloid, at least get a good one, like "Star" or "Weekly World News" where they show pics of a 2 headed goat boy.

watcha talkin smack about my cousin?
he cant help it

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 6:36am.

What I can't believe is that someone would spend $3.00 on this magazine. Hell, if you're going to spend your money on a tabloid, at least get a good one, like "Star" or "Weekly World News" where they show pics of a 2 headed goat boy.

Submitted by stinkbutt on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 6:32am.

Who the f$#% cares who she or even Brad sleeps with. People can have an open relationship, can't they? I'm not a big fan of either one of them. I think Angie has some talent but has the tendency to waste it on these really stupid movies that she's always taking part of. And Brad, well he has very little talent as an actor, and is prob best behind the camera talent-wise. That's how I think of these people, somewhat talentless people with good looks. Perhaps Angie is laughing all the way to the bank with her awful movies, good for her because they make a lot of money. The truth is, they make a lot of money based on her looks not on her actual talent as an actor, and that's what she banks on. Maybe that's a good thing, esp if she helps a lot of people in the world. As far as her sex life, she can fuck whoever she wants, and I wouldn't blink an eye. It's just so stupid to hear and see what people care about in this world.

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 6:28am.

Cunty McCunty always has and always will be the same whack job she's always been. Anyone who thinks this woman has changed her ways and her wild days are behing her are delusional.

She'll always be the carpet munching, husband fucking, brother sucking, heroin smoking, no friend having, unstable CUNT she's always been.

Submitted by Allessandra on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 6:10am.

I cannot believe how many of you actually believe this......*sigh*

Well the ones who love the conspiracy theories about Brangelina will believe anything.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 6:01am.

I support this.
_____________________________________________
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 5:50am.

Call her "Messalina Jolie" from now on.

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 5:46am.

I thought that everyone knew that they had an open relationship. Taraji Henson even implied it on The Talk. Get your side-piece on. Brad seems to be the caring, annoying, stupid kind (read man child).

Submitted by Joe Mahma on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 5:34am.

All I see is Jon Voight with long hair and tits.

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 5:11am.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek: "...If she has female lovers, it's only because she's insatiable for attention."

BIUNGO (typo but I LOVE it, so it stays)

Submitted by Chris Knight on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 4:08am.

1. Tell me/us smth new.
2. Their relationship is nothing but a contract/publicity stunt, as many of u already knew.
3. It must be awful to lick a bag of bones, like Fangelina.

Submitted by smokeybaconflavour on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 3:06am.

These two aren't even married are they? Who cares? She's a big lez, let the lezzie lez! lez. it's just fun to type lez lez lezzie lez lez

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 2:31am.

Lick that box, Ang!

***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©

Submitted by chinlee3 on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 2:12am.

Beatification, can they do it when the person is alive?

Submitted by Frank N. Beans on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 12:42am.

Yes zonko, I'm a pillow queen.

Why is it that the worst insult a gay person can hurl at another person is to insinuate they are gay too? That's pretty fucked up if you think about it.

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Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 1:26am.

It makes sense since Angie is for sure not bumping nasties with homosexual tinymeat Brad Pitt!

Submitted by Zonko on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 11:04pm.

My pleasure Mickey.

I'll bet Frank's a pillow queen.

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:52pm.

Submitted by Zonko on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 12:15am.

Thank you for replying to Frank N. Beans's comment. I took offence to him assuming all women are Smelly Cats, but had to overcome my nausea first. The mere thought of the smell did me in already (HSP in overdrive).

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Who are you calling silly cow?

Submitted by Zonko on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:45pm.

The smell of ass ?

Uhh ... I guess - if your 69'ing it.

You must be a real dynamo in the sack Frank :(

Submitted by Frank N. Beans on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:33pm.

I don't get how gay chicks like pussy. Unless they like the smell of ass while they eat one. I guess that's it. Gay people like the smell of ass.

Submitted by Zonko on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:14pm.

This news isn't suprising. Angie loves pussy.

And I'm quite sure Brad doesn't give a fuck about her getting it on with chicks.

Submitted by chica robotica on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:10pm.

Submitted by Joeb on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 7:45pm.

Serves Brad right for leaving that "Friends" person, to whom he was legally married to in the eyes of God and probably ruined her whole life for a unfaithful drug addict.

___________

"Legally married to in the eyes of God..." LOL. IMHO, there's legal and there's in the eyes of God. I don't think God keeps tabs on legal or vice versa. But I really love all that "give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's" separation of church and state -- to me, that's solid Americana.

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:08pm.

I'm not buying it. She looks too lifeless and drained of energy to have sex with even one person, let alone a string of eager lesbians. But this topic made my day anyway, seeing as MK is equally good in reality and fiction.

---------------------------------------------------------

Who are you calling silly cow?

Submitted by chica robotica on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:57pm.

Submitted by norma_desmond on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:02pm.

I just saw "The Tourist" on dvd. I thought she looked very pretty in that film...but inscrutably, she has zero sex appeal! Here she is opposite Johnny Depp who does a pretty good job of "acting" crazy about her in the film but.....nothing. Why is this? is it because she is too thin? is it because she genuinely is not interested...and is not a good enough actress to pretend that she is?
____________

She totally lit up for Brad in Mr & Mrs Smith... but that's not an example of good acting, is it? This cover is puzzling. I thought people were finally over Brangelina, Jen, everything.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:39pm.

ha ha ha these 2 douchefarts are stuck together for life to save face so no doubt they're filling wet holes elsewhere.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:32pm.

Eh, I doubt she has much libido. I went through a semi-anorexic phase in college and I couldn't even think about men ... I was thinking about FOOD! Not saying she's anorexic but I'm sure she doesn't feel great physically. If she has female lovers, it's only because she's insatiable for attention.

Submitted by daredarlington on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:23pm.

And I wish she was "lezzing it up" with ME!!

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:18pm.

AJ: "Could I please have some more white wine?"

Stewardess: "I'm sorry, Ms. Jolie, the Captain has ordered us to prepare the cabin for landing in ten minutes."

AJ: "Awww. OK, thanks anyway."

Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:08pm.

Bleeech. Who in the hell has any interest in these two dust balls. In Touch is such a lame magazine.
.
.

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:35pm.

*somethin's gotta give, somethin's gotta give,
aw, let's lez it up .. *

- Frank Sinatra

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by beakers bitch on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:23pm.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:40pm.
I wonder, where does In Touch lie on the bullshit meter?

I'm guessing the least reliable, most dramatic rags are National Enquirer and The Sun and the most reliable, albeit cheesy gossip comes from People and US?

Ehhh, I think People isn't that reliable because they just do kiss ass fluff pieces. They're a publicist's wet dream.

Submitted by Whatever on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:19pm.

Angelina is not the type to be satisfied with just one "lover."

Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:10pm.

I wonder, where does In Touch lie on the bullshit meter?

I'm guessing the least reliable, most dramatic rags are National Enquirer and The Sun and the most reliable, albeit cheesy gossip comes from People and US?

I'm curious about the varying levels of truth and journalistic integrity, (Michael Lohan's definition of integrity, of course).

Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 7:58pm.

How astronauts poop? "Let's just say it involves switches, levers, nozzles, hoses and vacuums." LOL!

Submitted by Andrei on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 7:50pm.

To be honest.. it's kind of hot to imagine a woman laying her head on Angie's big boobs while they're in bed. Though.. then in walks a mowhawked Maddox wondering if he can play voodoo with his sisters against Pax. Fail.