The Photoshop Awards: Kim Zolciak's Terrifying Face In Life & Style
If you took a latex man mask, painted it up like Barbie and then accidentally left it on a hot radiator until it melted off the side a little, it would look just like the face of The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim Zolciak in this picture for Life & Style. The photographer told Kim to look serene and calm, but the wig hair was blocking her ears and she heard "lifeless" and "melted" instead.
The shot of Kim's face looks like something out of a case file for the homicide of a transsexual Real Doll. But Kim has a good reason for this. Kim says that being this pregnant has left her in an uncomfortable state.
"I feel like I'm just getting fatter. He (her boyfriend Kroy) thinks I'm sexy. He makes me feel beautiful. He's just been the best partner. This pregnancy has kicked my butt, and now I'm at the stage where I'm uncomfortable."
Well, what is one to do when one is uncomfortable? One glues a microwaved Barbie mask over one's face, wraps a white bed skirt over one's naked body and allows Life & Style to click away as one's boyfriend gets his nose in the line of fire. The "fire" being pregnancy queefs.
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OMG PREGNANT PEOPLE, JUST STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*projectile vomits*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Hon, when you're 45+, a lot of things are difficult..
she looks like she is ready to barf on him...poor kid a tragic looking fake ass fugly mom and a "special" looking dad...this kid better have wicked skills to rise above this fuckery.
Realize this was the best picture of the bunch.
Is that venom or semen on the floor?
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
Couldn't they get a shot with her not looking like a freakin monster?
lmao @ skeeterpie!
I gasped when I paged down and saw her face.
Is that venom or semen on the floor?
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
scratch'n'sniff
She looks like the broken, blank-faced ceramic head on the poster of "The Stepford Wives."
http://www.impawards.com/1975/stepford_wives.html
Meanwhile, what is he sniffing?
Talk about Awkward Family Photos!
Submitted by DeathStarJones on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 1:48pm.
Looks like Kroy is getting fucked in the ass, but it has been cropped out.
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He has an ass for it! What a waste.
She looks just like that fugged up washed out corpse Peggy from RHOC.
Submitted by skeeterpie on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 6:07pm.
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HA! Totally agree. My narcissistic sister has pregnancy pics blown up, and framed in her hallway. BARRRRF!
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
She hasn't popped that kid out yet? I thought she and Mariah got pregs around the same time?
And this sentence: The shot of Kim's face looks like something out of a case file for the homicide of a transsexual Real Doll = PERFECTION.
I thought this was Speidi.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJLoYd8xak&feature=fvwrel
She'd give the King's 'IT' clown a run for his money. I'm sure I'll have nightmares of her puppetmaster face and edema legs. Wrong all around.
*sleeps with garlic dream-catcher and places wooden stake and silver bullets under pillow in case ZolcITak comes for me*
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"'They See Me Rollin', They Hatin' chariot is born!" -MK
Submitted by catfight357 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 11:43am.
and why the fuck is her big toe nail so long? EWWWWWWWWW it looks like a fucking talon.
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Speaking of talons, my husband was friends with a guy whose girlfriend had what I dubbed the "griffin claw". Her big toenail was long, thick and black, and she had the nerve to wear sandals...didn't try to paint it or anything. I already hate feet and that grosses me out to this day.
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
I am so sick of these idiotic pregnancy pics... the woman staring off into space while her man is supposedly infatuated with her swollen belly. It's just so damn unrealistic. And they NEVER look good... I don't care who it is. They look fake and they're embarassing.
oopsy double post.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
There needs a warning label on this picture. She looks like one of those dolls with the vacant eyes that had its head ripped off and left out in the sun too long. He looks like he just killed her and is now going to eat the baby
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
Wow she looks like those fetish videos where the guys wear rubber female masks. Creeping me out completely...
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
I can't believe that he didn't cover it up. He is stuck with her for life. Poor thing!
"Friday the 13th I'm a play Jason"
This woman's BUTTface is driving me mad!!!!
"I make myself sick, Get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure,Grown up nerd."
-Fat lip (The Pharcyde)
It bears repeating...
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA
Funniest picture EVER!! Am now in a good mood for the rest of the week ;-))
TRannies can get pregnant? IT'S A MIRACLE! Srsly, she looks more trannyish than real trannies. Her face is gross. Did she have surgery recently?
And Kroy looks like he's thinking, "What IS this?"
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
when i go to london this december im going to alert madamme tussauds wax museum that their wax figure of kim zolchiak was stolen and is currently being used in various photo shoots in the US!!!
Whatever happened to abortion?
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"Let's do it in Spanish" -Ricky Martin
I find staged pregnancy pictures tacky and gross. That's just me. Whatever you do and keep in your own house is fine, but to put them in magazines is just wrong. A. who wants to look at that shit and B. who is paying for this shit? Women get pregnant. You're not the first. Get over it.
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"I mean, sentenced to 120 days and sat in there for about as long as a Pink Floyd song?" - MK
Forget her face - it looks like that man wants to eat her baby!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
No photoshop can make that inhuman face look normal.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Her face has the waxen, grotesque look of a doll whose visage is slowly melting away.
"People are strange when you're a stranger...Faces look ugly when you're alone." ~ The Doors
Now I feel bad for hating on Phaedra's pickle pregnancy pics. In retrospect, I should've just been thankful they didn't look like escapees from Madame Tussauds like these two whores.
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I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
Sorry for the double post! Dlisted is acting wonky today!
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
WHY THE FUCK IS THIS COMPLETE NOTHING IN A MAGAZINE? THIS WORLD IS GETTING SO FUCKED UP..PEOPLE THESE FAKE AS 'HOUSEWIVES', KARDASIANS AND THE REST OF THIS FUCKING 'REALITY' FUCKING SHIT NEEDS TO GET THE FUCK OFF TV AND OUT OF THIS FUCKING WORLD. THESE PEOPLE ADD NOTHING TO THIS WORLD AND ARE FUCKING FAKE BORING LOSERS!
Hey! it's the chick from Team America World Police!
That's exactly what I was thinking!!!
NO more creepy pregnancy pics! You are pregnant, we get it. It's ironic that she releases these pics and this article a week after the rumors that her lil boy toy was not trying to marry her @ss because she's "too demanding". And is she STILL trying to convince us that she is only 32 years old. B*tch please.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
NO more creepy pregnancy pics! You are pregnant, we get it. It's ironic that she releases these pics and this article a week after the rumors that her lil boy toy was not trying to marry her @ss because she's "too demanding". And is she STILL trying to convince us that she is only 32 years old. B*tch please.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
This scares me. It looks like he's sniffing at her belly.
You know Kim has a Virginia Slim in the hand we can't see....
I'd rather look at pictures of dead Osama. (and I don't want to see them).
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
What the effing fuck with naked pictures and these these idiot men looking at the pregnant belly? He looks like he's watching the microwave waiting for his Hot Pocket to be done.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
LOL at you bitches' comments.
My first thought was "So, how does it smell?"
Wow. Julie Masking looks more natural.
For the newbies on this blog, look up that Julie Masking shit... It's worth it.
Wow. Julie Masking looks more natural.
For the newbies on this blog, check out that Julie Masking shit... It's worth it.
Looks like Kroy is getting fucked in the ass, but it has been cropped out.
Someone call Travolta! We have found his Victoria Gotti.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Thank u so much snowy, I wish I thought ahead like that. I don't think I will ever get another dog
She looks like a worn-out Real Doll dressed in a table cloth. Beautiful indeed.
Many of these comments are cracking me up thank God my boss has headphones on.
And to think Obama doesn't wanna release the dead pics of Bin Laden for fear or reprisal....
God help us when Al Qaeda see this one.
All this pregnant (LOOOOOOK AT MEEEEEEEEE) fuckery must stop now! Between her and Mimi motherhood is getting a damn bad name.
M.E., many women do look radiant when pregnant because of all the vitamins you're taking and because you're taking such good care of yourself. You were probably one of those women. But this Zolciak aint one of 'em. I bet she is still smoking and guzzling wine on the down-lo.