“Esperanza Spalding” became the most hated words in a Belieber’s vocabulary next to “potty training time” when she drop kicked Justin Bieber’s high chair by beating him in the Best New Artist category at the Grammys last night. While most us were Googling Esperanza Spalding to find out who the fuck she is, the Beliebers (who were already suffering through a severe kind of hyperness from staying up past their bedtimes) vandalized her Wikipedia page with their sprays of Gerber graffiti. Gawker got a screen shot of some of their work and also pointed us to the edit page where you can see all the shots fired by the Beliebers.
They changed Esperanza’s middle name to “Quesadilla” (which is a delicious middle name) and called her a “fucking reatard” who needs to “go die in a hole.” And they did all of this on a school night! Cut to thousands of Beliebers with a rage hangover this morning. How are they going to scribble out an “I HATE YOU DIE DIE” tiny Valentine to Esperanza on the broken heart from the Operation game when they can’t lift their heads off their desks?
Esperanza looks like a hybrid of Santana from Glee and Janelle Monae, so you’d think the Beliebers would raise their rattles for her. They really need to coat their teething rings with weed butter, because it’s not that serious. There’s no need to ruin your parents’ Valentine’s Day by crying out for Justin Bieber on the baby monitor. Justin will soon win a Nobel Peace Prize for discovering the cure for dandruff in the tips of the dream strings on his head, so a Grammy really ain’t shit.
Here’s more of international hero Esperanza Spalding and Justin Bieber (with Uncle Usher, Jaden Smith and his parents) at the Grammys last night.