Demi Lovato Checks Into Rehab

And just like that, a dozen “Which teen pop star is a cokehead who did a dude on a bunk bed at a party?” blind items might’ve have found their answer. TMZ reports that 18-year-old Demi LOraleVATOOOOO (that’ that girl who once dated a Jonas Brother and Mr. Ed’s second cousin twice removed at the hay barrel, has quit her world tour and checked into rehab for “emotional and physical” issues. That’s basically just a publicist’s way of dressing up “cokey problem” in a crisp white button-down shirt and shiny pearls. Here’s the statement from Demi’s spokeswhore:

“Demi Lovato left her tour early this weekend in order to seek medical treatment for emotional and physical issues she has dealt with for some time. Demi has decided to take personal responsibility for her actions and seek help. She is doing just that. [Demi] regrets not being able to finish her tour, but is looking forward to getting back to work in the near future.”

A source tells TMZ that a “You need help, bitch” light bulb went off over the Disney chola’s head after she got into some sort of fight (aka cut that bitch for the last 8-ball) with a female member of her tour.

I didn’t expect Demi to stumble in Lindsay Lohan and Brit Brit’s footsteps for at least a couple more years. DAMN. I swear, I’m surprised Disney hasn’t opened up “Mickey Mouse’s Rehab House for Wayward Hos” so they can make even more fast cash off of the tricks they pushed out on the stroll.