What Have We Done?!

Sometimes it’s hard seeing our Internet treasures fall out of the box and begin their long crawl down the ho stroll of life until the road runs out and they fall into a chair at the unemployment office (or into a Vh1 reality show). You just want them to stay in the nest with you forever and ever, but you know that you’re the one who taught them how to strut their asses so you know it’s only a matter of time before they start thrusting on that whore called fame. I know this, but it still scratches at my already bruised and battered soul a bit to see our precious Antoine Dodson posing like a common dirty spotlight fucker at Millions of Famemilkers in West Hollywood, CA last night. “Can I have one Bed Intruder Shake please? Don’t hide yo whipped cream and don’t hide yo nuts.” – Me eventually ordering that mess.

You know that “spittin’ up the cream” move the golden baby giraffe is doing in the picture above? Aubrey O’Day has done that same one! Why do I cry? But seriously, I’d rather have Antoine than Parasite Hilton, the Kardassians, Spencer Twatt and The Situation, so I’ll gladly hold his luscious mane back while he keeps fucking that chicken. Like this:

The only thing I ask is that Antoine stop spending his hard-whored money on clothes that make him look like he just fell out of a 2020 episode of Where Are They Now: Willow Smith. That includes those bike chain sunglasses, Antoine!