Lauren Bacall Is Not A Twihard

August 27, 2009 / Posted by:

Lauren Bacall is Twittering! At least, I hope this is her Twitter, because that means she will deliver countless shiny and bitchy gems. Nobody tells it like a memaw, because they really don’t give an eff. And if you don’t agree with them, they will whoop you with a switch, a garden hoe, or a….shoe. The latter was Lauren’s weapon of choice when she was tempted to beat some sense into her granddaughter over the Twilight craze. Lauren Twittered:

Yes, I saw Twilight – my granddaughter made me watch it, she said it was the greatest vampire film ever. After the ‘film’ was over I wanted to smack her across her head with my shoe, but I do not want a (tell-all) book called Grannie Dearest written on me when I die. So instead I gave her a DVD of Murnau’s 1922 masterpiece Nosferatu and told her, ‘Now that’s a vampire film!’ And that goes for all of you! Watch Nosferatu instead!

You crazed Twihards out there shouldn’t even bother trying to attack Lauren for her comments. You will lose. In fact, Lauren might be a vampire herself, so you should get on your knees and worship her. I mean, I get twitchy every time I look at Lauren’s furry worm brows, but I quickly file those thoughts under “Don’t Go There.” Because Lauren is always right

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