Bitch Does It For Me

July 23, 2009 / Posted by:

Let’s take a break from all things Gosselin, so that I can profess my b-hole’s love for Dustin Hoffman’s 28-year-old son Jake. Mah Boo Anderson Cooper better return one of the ten thousand messages I leave on the CNN comment line daily or I will immediately transfer all my affections to the ever-so dreamy Jake Hoffman. Yeah, I think I just sealed my fate with Mah Boo. Enough about Mah Boo (I don’t mean that), this post is about Jake!

Yes, his t-shirt is torn in the wrong place and slightly douchy, but let’s focus on his hair. HIS HAIR. You know you just want to rub your nalgas all over that mop. It’s even okay if the top mop matches the crotch mop. A few hundred pubie follices in the teeth never hurt anyone! I’m sure most dentists recommend it!

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