If I was Jenny Aniston’s spokeswhore, I’d make her swear on her favorite real baby that she will not talk about men, relationships, Brangelina, Maddox or anything sex-related during interviews. You know, I’d demand that she only talk about kittens, puppies, unicorns, rainbows, Cathy the comic strip, candy canes, cocaine and ice cream! Those are safe topics. If she stayed on those topics, quotes like the one she gave Marie Claire would never come back to bite her in the nalgas.
In a joint interview with Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin for that GET ME A MAN NOW movie, Jennifer Aniston confessed this: “I still have the cassette tapes of messages from my first boyfriend, my second boyfriend, my husband… it’s like saving love letters.”
HUSBAND! Oh, Jen. It’s time to burn the entire cardboard box you keep near your bed labeled: WHY BRAD WHY?!!!! This is just Kleenex box sad. I totally picture her listening to those tapes while cuddling with the teddy bear she made using hair she stole from Brad’s hairbrush. I bet she spent hours taking soundbytes from each tape to get Brad to say, “Hi, gorgeous honey. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. Marry me again. Angelina is a hose.” She couldn’t find a bite of him using the word “whore,” but she figured “hose” was close enough.
Click here to read the entire interview.