Remember Ethan Hawke? Yeah, me neither. Well, he got married to his knocked up girlfriend, Ryan Shawhughes, three weeks ago. People reports that the two twats are expecting a baby girl soon. This Ethan’s second marriage.
Ryan and Ethan met while he was still married to Uma Thurman. She worked as their nanny. They claim they started dating after he divorced Uma. Uh…huh…and I don’t slather apple butter on myself hoping my dog licks it off. I’M JOKING! Don’t call Peta!
Hopefully, dumb bitch Ryan is smart enough not to hire a nanny for their new baby. And if her lazy ass insists on getting one, she better hire a 300lb toofless beast.