Category: The Olympics
Gunnar Bentz Apologized, Blamed It All On Ryan Lochte
Olympic gold medalist and University of Georgia student Gunnar Bentz is one of the Faux Robbery Four. That’s him up top on the left leaving a police station in Rio accompanied by teammate Jack Conger on Thursday. He’s released a statement via the university’s athletic department apologizing and confirming that yes, Ryan Lochte is douche enough that Giganta would have extra.
Hope Solo Is A Sore Loser
US women’s soccer goalie and champion nephew beater Hope Solo was all kinds of wrought after her team was eliminated by Sweden last night. Solo referred to the winners as “a bunch of cowards“ after the match. Hopefully (ugh, sorry) Solo’s nephew was wearing his bite suit after the game if he accompanied the family to Rio.
Leslie Jones’ Tweets About The Olympics Got Her An Invitation To Rio
I am a person without cable, which means I can’t watch the 2016 summer Olympics on NBC, CBC or any other channel. So if I want to see a greasy shirtless hottie in a paper mache skirt work it for his homeland, I go to Twitter. And there are some people on Twitter who truly deserve a gold medal for their coverage of the Olympic games. Leslie Jones is one of them. Leslie returned to twitter after a brief hiatus, and thank god she did, because Leslie’s coverage of the Olympics is the only coverage you need. NBC thinks Leslie is doing such a good job of covering the Olympics that they recently invited her to Rio and do it live.
In FML News: Olympic Gymnast Breaks Leg, Then They Drop His Stretcher
You might have to hold my hair back as I type this because broken bones make me vom. French gymnast Samir Ait Said was just flipping along yesterday, trying to achieve his Olympics dreams, when he broke THE FUCK out of his leg during a dismount. Seriously, legs shouldn’t flop in that direction. I’m blogging at a Starbucks today and watched the video here for the first time. When the horrific part came, I yelled out loud and the woman breastfeeding at the table beside me (it was already an awkward sitch at the Starbucks) nearly dropped her greedy-mouthed infant. So, when you watch the second video below, you’ve been warned. It’s dreadful. Brace yourselves.