SamRo In A Bikini!

In high school, there was this majorly butchie gym teacher who basically made SamRo look like fucking Claudia Schiffer. A lot of dumb whores would mistakenly call her Mr. Honeycutt instead of Ms. Honeycutt (the names have been changed to protect the innocent). When it came time to get into the pool, Ms. Honeycutt came out in a tight one-piece swimsuit. It made all of us slap ourselves in the eyes, because we couldn’t believe what we were seeing. We expected this bull dyke to come out in an oversized t-shirt and trunks to her knees. It made me feel uncomfortable at first, but then it was kind of hot. I like the unexpected.

I sort of felt the same way while looking at these pictures of SamRo and HoHan sunning their lezzie flaps in Cabo. Not only is SamRo wearing a bikini, but it’s pink and looks like it came from fucking Sanrio. And you think you know someone! Next you’re going to tell me that she isn’t the one who wears the strap-on!

Here’s more of these two hipster gayelles in Mexico. How do you say gayelle in Spanish? Maricalley? I just made that up, so it’s probably really offensive or doesn’t make any fucking sense.

The Ray-Ban (And Now Flannel) Twins Go To Disneyland

This is what happens when you bump fuglies with the same bitch for a long time. You start dressing like them! HoHan and her labia lickin’ lady friend went to the unhappiest place on earth yesterday wearing pretty much the same shit. Ray-Bans? CHECK! Lezzie Club shirts? CHECK! Skinny jeans? CHECK!

And yes, I said the “unhappiest” place on earth. Whenever I go to Disneyland, I always think that rainbows are going to fly out of my ass because of how happy being there will make me. The opposite usually happens. I get all angry after paying $6 for a sodie pop and I usually always get into a fight with some stupid bitch who is talking way too loud in line. I’m sorry, but while I’m waiting ten hours for a 10-second ride, I don’t want to hear about some whore’s life. That’s why whispering was invented. Yes, I have major issues. We already know this. Just file this shit in the “MK IS A BITCHY BITTER HOMO” folder and then go make me a hot chocolate.

Here’s more of the hipster scissor sisters acting all gayelley at Disneyland. It’s funny that SamRo is wearing a Jack Skeletor hat, because they have the same body.

Coming Out On Loveline

I always knew the radio show Loveline was like a bit cup of truth serum! Dr. Drew always makes bitches cum clean. Although, he wasn’t there when SamRo called in, but that doesn’t matter! He was there in spirit!

SamRo called into the show to talk to Stryker about the Travis Barker and DJ AM plane crash. They chat for a while and then SamRo’s hands the phone over to her partner in pussy HoHan.

They talk for a bit and then Stryker asks her: “Now, you and Samantha have been going out for how long now? Two years? One year? Five months? Two months?” HoHan kind of laughs and then says: “A very long time.” Stryker tells her that they make a lovely couple and HoHan thanks him.

Slap me twice with a strap-on and feed me a dental dam! I am SHOCKED! I thought they were just girlfriends who went shopping and talked about boys together? You mean to tell me that they are giving each other moustaches and squirting in each other’s faces?! You know SamRo is a squirter. Her facial expressions tell me this.

On a serious note, I kind of like the fact that SamRo and HoHan aren’t shouting from the roof top of Home Depot that they are bumping pussies. It is more than obvious that they are lezzzzzzbian loooovers, but at least they aren’t announcing it on the cover of a magazine. Right? Oh, what am I saying? They are still attention whores! White Oprah must be crying fake tan tears at the thought of how much money she’s losing from her daughter not coming out on the cover of a magazine for millions of dollars!

And I can’t wait what Michael Lohan is going to say about this. Expect the words “Jesus,” “Hell,” “blasphemy,” and “degenerates” to be used at least three times each in his statement.

Below is the clip of SamRo and HoHan being lesbionic on the radio. Skip to around the 6:40 mark.

There’s A Butchie In Your Lap

HoHan doesn’t need to worry about photographers getting pictures of her flappy honey ham crotch curtains anymore, because SamRo is there to shield their cameras. That’s what butch girlfriends are for. And while she’s down there, she might as well as tongue flick on HoHan’s matchstick.

The back alleyway version of Rojo Caliente and Cynthia Nixon cuddled for the cameras at TV Guide’s after-Emmy party in Los Angeles last night. HoHan looks like a New Jersey morning-shift stripper desperately trying to look extra classy for a family wedding, but I can forgive her. She topped the look off with a baby dyke and that is the must-have accessory of the year.

I just wish SamRo would stop making those Guido douche faces! It looks like she’s queefing and farting at the same time. It’s not hot. She obviously wants to be on Hot Chicks with Douchebags AGAIN!

Mrs. Lindsay Ronson?

Is that a bull between SamRo’s legs or is she just happy to see us?

The Sun reports that SamRo used her labia lickin’ lips to tell a bunch of strangers that she will marry HoHan by the end of the year. While DJing at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles, SamRo apparently announced: “By the end of this year, my love will be Mrs Ronson. Tonight shows the power of a woman – to underestimate that is to underestimate the world.” Pussy power!

HoHan also feels the same way about her punane pal. She talked about their matching tattoos to Marie Claire magazine: “Samantha has a bunch of stars, so I got that. I’m really happy. She’s a great person. And she’s a great influence on people around her.”

HoHan has been doing so well lately. Why eff it all up by getting married? The only acceptable reason for a HoHan/SamRo wedding is so that White Oprah can give a drunken “mother of the bride” speech during the reception.

And if HoHan becomes Lindsay Ronson, what will I fucking call her? HoRon? It’s just not the same.

The Ray-Ban Twinsies Go To A Fashion Show

Ray-Ban’s favorite gayelles hiked up their ham wallets to sit front row at SamRo’s sister’s fashion show at Bryant Park yesterday. I’m kind of into SamRo’s baby biker butchie look. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a skinny ass biker dyke before. This is some “Skeletor does ‘Easy Rider‘” shit.

And it’s nice to see that HoHan’s magnificent chichis have come out to play. They look jollier now that she’s lickin’ the labia. SamRo must be an expert motoboater.

Here’s more of these two vagitarians at the Samantha Ronson show yesterday. In the pictures below, the woman sitting in back of them nearly made my morning. I seriously thought for a second she was the cook from “Clue the Movie.”