Category: Pure Evil
Lady Gaga’s Dog Walker Was Shot And Two Of Her Dogs Were Taken In A Dognapping
Today in humanity ain’t shit news, TMZ (et al) is reporting that some humanoid-shaped pieces of shit ran up and shot Lady Gaga’s dog walker, Ryan Fischer, four times in the chest last night as he was out walking three of Gaga’s French Bulldogs in an apparent targeted dognapping. Ryan was rushed to the hospital and is expected to make a full recovery. Two of the dogs, Koji and Gustav were snatched but the third, Miss Asia, was saved. Lady Gaga is currently in Italy filming the movie Gucci and has offered a $500,00 reward, no questions asked, for Koji and Guztav’s safe return. No questions asked?!?! I mean I get it, but if my dog walker took FOUR bullets for my babies, I damn sure would have some questions for the fuckers who put him in the hospital.
Open Post: Hosted By Another Look At “Mary Poppins Returns”, This Time With Singing
There’s a new “special look” trailer for the upcoming Mary Poppins Returns, and in it we learn that Mary is a dangerous sociopath hellbent on delivering the Banks children straight to hell. First she tries to drown them in a tub full of acid, then she enlists a dolphin army to do unspeakable crimes to them. When that doesn’t do the trick, Mary repeatedly tries to shoot the innocent youths directly into the sun by various means. This is Emily Blunt at her most sinister.