Category: Presidential
Mayor Pete Wants To Broker Peace Between Chick-fil-A And The LGBTQ Community
I guess I know who I’m voting for in the presidential primaries! Chick-fil-A hasn’t exactly been a friend to the gay community. For starters, it’s closed on Sundays when most of us are coming home from a good night at the club, and, uh, it doesn’t exactly donate chicken cash to groups known for loving the gay community. Lucky for us, South Bend mayor, gay man, and residential candidate Pete Buttigieg is here to say let us all live in waffle fry and bigoted chicken harmony!
Angelina Jolie Might Consider Running For President One Day
Oprah hinted and the people said “Noprah”. The Rock announced and the people said “nah bruh”. We told Kid Rock to kick rocks, and accused Oscar De La Hoya of having rocks in his head when he announced he wanted to run for President of The United States. But now, a new potential candidate has emerged. One whom The Telegraph claims is “cited as one of the most influential and powerful people in the American entertainment industry.” A saintly figure whose inability to compromise or close a deal would surely lead us to the brink of disaster. But she does come with her own army so maybe we could save some money there. Of course I’m talking about Angelina Jolie, who recently hinted on BBC Radio Four’s Today that she might consider running for president.