Angelina Jolie Might Consider Running For President One Day

December 28, 2018 / Posted by:

Oprah hinted and the people said “Noprah”. The Rock announced and the people said “nah bruh”. We told Kid Rock to kick rocks, and accused Oscar De La Hoya of having rocks in his head when he announced he wanted to run for President of The United States. But now, a new potential candidate has emerged. One whom The Telegraph claims is “cited as one of the most influential and powerful people in the American entertainment industry.” A saintly figure whose inability to compromise or close a deal would surely lead us to the brink of disaster. But she does come with her own army so maybe we could save some money there. Of course I’m talking about Angelina Jolie, who recently hinted on BBC Radio Four’s Today that she might consider running for president.

Angie was asked if she’d consider a career in politics, and specifically if she would ever run for President of the United States. Angie’s current job is as a UN Special Envoy, which she says has given her the “chance to work with people in need as well as governments and the military” and she’s happy doing that “for now”. But…

“So for now, I will stick quiet,” she concluded when asked about her political ambitions while guest editing BBC Radio Four’s Today programme. The “for now” was picked up by the interviewer.

“If you asked me 20 years ago, I would have laughed. I really don’t know. I always say I will go where I am needed.

Angie went on to list her qualifications.

#1 – No more skeletons in her closet. I guess because all her skeletons are already out here walking around wearing her clothes.

#2 – She’s “pretty open and out there”. Yes, just what we need in the Oval Office. A wacky aunt who will embarrass world leaders by asking them about their sex lives at the state dinner table.

#3 – She “can take a lot on the chin”. Well, she’s got us there. Anything lobbed at her chin would instantly shatter into a million pieces and then each broken each piece would be subtly dragged in a 12-page Vanity Fair spread.

I guess that’s all it takes these days to be qualified to run for President. Angie also had some strong words about the rise of nationalism.

“I am a patriot but I am also an internationalist and I love and value other people and other countries,” she said.

Especially their babies. When I’m president of the United States, I promise to put a baby in every pot!


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