Category: Mia Goth
The Hilarious O Faces From The Nymphomaniac Posters
I wasn’t planning to see Lars Von Trier’s 5-hour-long CGI torture porn Nymphomaniac, because I’m afraid that watching 5 hours of Lars Von Trier’s idea of arty porn is going to make my gonads completely dry up and die. But now I really don’t need to see it after my eyeballs have laid themselves on the posters of each character hilariously jizzing. I just want to print them all out and wallpaper my front door with them, because this messy shit will keep all visitors away!
If you’ve always wanted to see Shia LaDouche, Christian Slater, Alexander Skarsgard’s daddy and Uma Thuman cum all artistic-like, your wish has been granted. Some of the slightly NSFW-ish posters (via ONTD) are after the cut. Warning: Most of these O faces look like OhImPushingOutThisShitHard face. Continue reading
Shia LaDouche’s Got A New Piece….AND WHERE ARE HER BROWS?!?
Shia LaBeouf quit humping Karolyn Pho a quick minute ago and he’s already smearing his unpasteurized peen fromage all over the body of his new girlfriend, 19-year-old Mia Goth. Shia met Mia while shooting Lars Von Trier’s art porn Nymphomaniac, and I guess she just couldn’t get enough of the five layer dip under his foreskin, because they’re dating for real now. Shia and Mia (possible couple names: MiShi, ShiMi, Shith, Shit Mi, Filthy Bums, etc….) spread their hobo love in L.A. yesterday. They look like a broke down, low-budget version of Early and Adele from Kalifornia. Shia looks like a serial killer vagrant who lives in a tent in the woods and hangs out in front of Rite-Aid during the day, and she looks like the 15-year-old he kidnapped from her family’s trailer.
But more importantly, for where are homegirl’s brows? Did they jump off of her face when she made out with Shia for the first time? Did Shia’s crotch crustaceans crawl up to her face and eat them? If Shia cared about Mia at all, he’d give her some brows. Dude has Demi Moore’s vintage muff on his face so he has more than enough hair to give Mia for some eyebrows. If you truly care about a trick, don’t let her go outside with no brows.
