A quick Google search tells me that indie sweetheart Jenny Lewis (or as us 80s chirrun call her, “Hannah from Troop Beverly Hills”) and Bill Murray have been friends for a while. They’ve gone to basketball games and shows together, etc.. etc… Now Page Six is saying that 65-year-old Bill Murray and 39-year-old Jenny Lewis are humping on each other. Hmm… I wonder if he screams, “COOKIE TIME,” before he goes down on her? You know what else I wonder? I wonder why I wondered that.
Page Six has basically zero details. And they call themselves serious journalists! They referred to Jenny as Bill’s “current younger love interest” and said that she showed up to the after-party for Rock the Kasbah at a club in NYC on Monday night. At the end of the night, Jenny and Bill got onstage together (pic above) and danced with the band.
Spotted arriving to meet Murray and jumping onstage, too, was former child actress Jenny Lewis, 39. “Jenny is Bill’s special friend,” a source said. Flame-haired Lewis, who’s been linked to singer Johnathan Rice, was also at a Hamptons screening of the film, and the pair was seen together after at the Huntting Inn. She’ll appear in Murray’s upcoming holiday special and popped up in a faux rock doc to promote “Rock the Kasbah.” Her rep said, “No comment.”
Another quick Google search also tells me that Jenny and Jonathan Rice have been “linked” for over 8 years.
I don’t know. I’m going to need more proof than this. But if Jenny and Bill really are dating, all hipsters can stop trying to be the ultimate hipster. Jenny gets that title if she really is doing Bill Murray full-time. And this coupling is so hipster and so twee that if Jenny got knocked up by Bill, she’d give birth to an actual otter and that otter would come out of the womb knowing how to play the ukulele. Sorry, Zooey.
Every single one of Jenny Lewis’ video should be nothing but her doing the Cookie Time dance with the cast of the greatest thing she’s ever been a part of: Troop Beverly Hills. But for some strange reason that I will never understand, Jenny Lewis doesn’t agree with me. So for the video for the song which will put your brain in sleep mode if you listen to it for more than 15 seconds, she got Anne Hathaway, Brie Larson and Kristen Stewart to drag king it up. Well, Anne and Brie drag king’d it up. KStew just wore a Bieber wig and a Dirty Sanchez stache with her regular clothes.
Above is Anne looking like Ali G’s American third cousin from New Jersey who thinks that KFed’s album “Playing With Fire” is an underrated rap treasure, constantly brags about how he gets his brows threaded at the same place Pauly D does, actually pre-ordered Backdoor Farrah’s rubber asshole and calls his garage bedroom in his mother’s house his “pussy palace” even though he’s only done sex with a Fleshlight. It hurts every vein in my body to say that yes, yes, I’d hit it. I actually got the puckers from seeing everyone’s least favorite theater kid Anne Hathaway as a KFed version of Buck from United States of Tara. Somebody grab a flashlight, a rosary and a vat of holy water and inspect me down there, because obviously something’s not right since I got the tingles for Anne Hathaway in a rattail and stache. Being easy isn’t easy.
Who ever directed Jenny Lewis’ Lisa Frank twat burp of a video must be a wizard who is capable of anything. Because they actually managed to bring emotion and a smile out of human drool stain Kristen Stewart (who kind of looks like a strung out young Edward Furlong as the Biebs):
Eh, actually the director’s not much of a magician, because it’s not surprising that KStew would become animated after you slap a pubestach on her face and tell her to act like a dude. And yes, yes, I would. I need help.
While I’m getting a priest to exorcise the Anne-And-KStew-In-Drag-Loving Demon out of my b-hole, you can watch the video for “Just One of the Guys” which is like Leslie Hall on Valium and Unisom.