Category: Ice-T
All Hail Slutoween’s Forever Reigning Queen
If the first lady of elegance, CoCo, really wanted to fuck some shock and awe into our brains, she would’ve dressed up as a fully-clothed Amish virgin for Halloween, but then Slutoween would’ve officially been canceled and every ho’s inner slut would have to stay inside. Because the one-night sluts of Slutoween can’t officially stuff their crotches into a Frederick’s of Hollywood costume until they hear the period blood-curdling cry from CoCo’s camel toe as it gets stranged with fishnets and a wad of Spandex.
The cry was heard at CoCo’s Halloween party in Las Vegas on Saturday night when she strut along the red carpet with thighs that looked like precooked Christmas hams busting out of their nets, and her suction cup nipples holding up a metal titty plate. You can say that CoCo went as a slutty hell minion with RiRi head and you’d be correct. You’d also be correct if you said that CoCo went as CoCo going to the grocery store.
And since we’re on the subject of Slutoween, I also threw in some pictures of superstar urinal Kim Kardashian making genitals itch and pores push out milky green pus at her Halloween party in NYC. At least she could blame it on her costume this time.
The Real Royal Wedding!
While surrounded by pimps, hos, 10 pesos weaves, unmaintained eyebrow situations, swap meet contact lenses, sourdough loaf titties, natural beauties and crystal clear nutsacks, Ice-T and CoCo celebrated their 10-year wedding anniversary by renewing their vows for their new E! reality show. That know-it-all bitch Wikipedia claims Ice-T and CoCo got married December of 2005, but these two live in an ethereal queef bubble where facts do no matter, so I will raise a camel toe cup filled with pink Andre and toast to their 10 years of marriage!
This display of sheer elegance makes Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding look like a quince held in a Burger King party room. This is the real royal wedding (as seen through the eyes of a Roma Gypsy).
At the reception, I’m sure CoCo’s camel toe clapped the melody to Tony! Toni! Tone’s! “Anniversary” while guests placed their champagne flutes on her shelf titties to dance with her. And those lucky guests were: Snoop, Don “Magic” Juan with his stoop sale trollops, Ice-T’s son Little Ice, Tila Tequila and CoCo’s mom Tina.
