Heather Mills Used To Be A High-Class Ho

Heather Mills has long denied that she ever got paid to fuck, but some chick named Denise Hewitt has come forward in a new documentary claiming she used to work the pussy line with Heather back in the 80s.

In the documentary called “Heather Mills: What Really Happened,” Denise said they used to act out lesbo fantasies for clients for up to $20,000 a night. This was long before Heather lost her leg. She probably would have made more without a leg, because those bitches with fetishes will pay top dollar to lick that shit.

Denise also claimed that Heather told her she gave Paul McCartney an ultiamtium about marrying her, “She said, ‘I’ll give him an ultimatum and if he doesn’t marry me within say eight months, ten months, I’m going to leave him’.” When Paul finally proposed, Heather still bashed his ass to Denise. She told her, “Well look at me, I’m marrying an old man with bigger tits than me.”

Denise said that when it comes to people, Heather gets what she wants, “They just fall madly in love with her and I take my hat off to her because she manipulates people and they’re besotted, like enchanted, you know – like she throws fairy dust all over them.”

That picture above was taken in the 80s and she definitely has “HO face.” You can tell she’s wearing jewelry bought with her sex money. Sex jewelry is always tackier.

You know, I wish the Heather from the 80s would come back. The Heather that fucked for money, posed for naked pictures and had amazing hair. That Heather sounds fun.

Source

Thanks Mimi

Nowhere To Run

The world’s most-hated woman, Heather Mills, seems to think that America will embrace her. Heather is planning to ditch England and move to the US. Heather spoke about her plans while judging the Miss USA contest in Las Vegas this past weekend.

“In England, people don’t like me. But I’m going to move to America, Los Angeles hopefully. I love England but everything that has happened makes me realize I’ll be better off in the States.” Heather must be deaf and dumb, because she made these comments after the Miss USA audience booed her ass.

The Mirror claims Heather has enlisted the help of Paris Hilton’s publicist, Elliot Mintz. Heather thinks Elliot can transform her image. Heather, even Houdini can’t transform your bitch image.

Heather has nowhere to run! Even if she moved to Antarctica, the polar bears and penguins would join forces to get her kicked out.

Note To Paul’s 3 Girlfriends: Watch Out For Heather

Heather Mills gave her first interview since winning millions of dollars in her divorce settlement to GMTV in Britain this morning. Heather used the time to go after Paul McCartney once again. She said, “I think he’s got three different girlfriends. So I wish all the girls the best of luck. Better them than me.” They need the luck, because insane Heather is probably going to stalk and terrorize them.

Heather also didn’t apologize for dumping a glass of water all over Paul’s lawyer. She said the woman deserved it, “Mrs. Shackleton said something under her breath, so I cleansed and baptized her. I thought she looked fantastic – I thought it did her a world of good.” When is someone going to do Heather a world of good and stick her peg leg in her mouth.

She plans to continue to fight over getting the full-transcripts of her divorce hearing made public, because she believes the transcripts that were already released are one-sided. Heather doesn’t give a fuck about releasing the transcripts. She just wants a reason to go on TV and bitch about Paul McCartney.

She spoke from Las Vegas where she’s due to judge the Miss USA pageant. Expect this hag to somehow throw in Paul McCartney in the question and answer portion of the competition. Her question will be, “Did Saint Heather Mills deserve more money from Paul McCartney? If you answer yes, you will get my vote. If you answer no, I will vote for that other bitch over there. GO.”

Source: Daily Mail

Heather Mills’ Diet Demands Is Driving Everyone Crazy

Somebody send little Beatrice McCartney some beef jerky or something. Heather Mills reportedly has her daughter on a strict vegan diet. Bea is going on holiday with her daddy to Morocco next week and Heather has been making everyone bonkers by faxing diet demands to the hotel.

A source told the Mirror, “Heather has been driving the hotel staff mad, faxing both the head chef and manager instructions and recipe suggestions for Bea. Paul is furious. He is perfectly capable of looking after his own daughter – especially after successfully bringing up his other children on vegetarian diets.” Paul should give Bea a big ass steak in retaliation. He needs to take a picture of a slab of beef going into Bea’s mouth and send it to Heather. She would go into a rage and tear off her other leg!

And I thought my mother was hardcore. I grew up without sugar, white bread or anything else remotely unhealthy. We were given fucking carrot sticks and tomato juice for snacks. NASTY! We became so hard-up for sugar that we would make sugar water and raw oatmeal with sugar in it. That kind of diet shit can backfire. I may have been healthy when I was a child, but now I eat chocolate cookies for breakfast because of it. Shhh! I put milk in the cookies. That makes it okay and healthy.

Yoko’s Words For Heather

A happy parade is probably going on inside Yoko Ono, but she managed to keep it calm during an interview with Sky News. Yoko said she feels for Heather, because it’s not easy being associated with a Beatle. Please! Yoko is thrilled that she’s no longer the only witch of the Beatles. She wants to give Heather’s stump a tongue bath. She’s that grateful!

Yoko said, “All I can say is it’s not very easy for a woman to be associated with The Beatles. I think all the wives did suffer, and I think quietly suffer. Suffer but endured, I would actually say.” Yoko said Heather needs to “do her very best and try to survive”. That’s nice of Yoko. Heather really needs those words on encouragement considering she only has $50 million to live on. She’s so broke that she’s going to have to cut coupons. Poor darling.

Yoko kept the fake sympathy coming and even extended a hand to Paul McCartney, “I’m very sorry for him to have had to go through all that. I haven’t spoken to him about that but it’s a subject which he probably doesn’t want to discuss with other people.”

I’m sure that still didn’t stop her from sending him a note that said, “You got served! Karma is a one-legged bitch!”

Heather Mills Is A Master Of Disguise!

This Michael Jackson costume wig is not going to cut it. Heather Mills needs to take some of that McCartney blood money and buy a wig that doesn’t look like it came out of the clearance bin.

Heather tried her hardest to disguise herself as she arrived at Newark Airport yesterday, but ended up drawing more attention to her stupid ass. A better disguise would have been if she just strolled into the first class lounge with her daughter. The real Heather Mills would never do that! She totally wears this get-up when she’s staking out Paul and his new bitch. She thinks she’s slick!

Heather has also proven that the fannypack will never EVER make a comeback.