Shocking! Somebody Else Hates Heather Mills!

Heather Mills’ former nanny has joined the long list of people who can’t stand the cunt and would give anything to beat her down with her fake leg. Seriously, if Heather got a leg for every time someone said they hated her ass….

Sara Trumble has filed a complaint with an employment tribunal claiming Heather Mills is a cunt to work for and forced her to do a bunch of shit that was beyond her regular duties. Sara said that after Heather’s divorce from Paul McCartney, she had to work long hours, blow dry Heather’s hair every morning at 7:30 and spray tan her one-legged ass once a week.

Okay, the spray tanning part couldn’t have been that bad. I mean, she only had to spray one leg, so it probably took less time than usual. And if Sarah hated Heather so much, she could have taken out her frustrations while blow drying her hair. I would have accidentally shoved the blow dryer up her ass while it was on high. It was an accident!

Heather’s side says that Sara is just out for cash and she was hired to be a nanny and a housekeeper. Heather claims after Sara came back from maternity leave, her hours were changed to accommodate her new baby. Heather also gave Sara some of her daughter’s hand-me-downs and also took her on some beach vacation. She’s so fucking generous.

So Heather is accusing Sarah of pulling a “Heather Mills“? How damn ironic.

You know, if you agree to take a job from Heather Mills, you should know that you’re basically working for Satan’s cunt. You should also be okay with the word “cunt” becoming a regular part of your vocabulary. When you work for Heather Mills, you will become one with the word “cunt.” You will fall in love with the word. Heather should put that in the damn contract. Shit. Maybe I should work for the cunt. That’s a word I would love to say all day and all night. I would especially love to whisper it into Heather’s fugly ear while I “blow dry” her hair. Cunt! Cunt! Cunt!

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Heather Mills Is A Dumb Gold Digger

Being a successful gold digger is so much more than just stealing a mountain of cash from a sugar daddy and spending it on platinum dildos and diamond clitty rings. Once you have that money, you have to put together some kind of business plan to keep that cash working for you for years to come. All whores have to be smart about their cash. I watch “Cathouse” on HBO. All these hookers have “plans” or something. Unfortunately, Heather Mills is not one of those smart whores.

The Sun reports that Heather has already burned through $20 million of her $50 million divorce settlement in just seven months. What has she actually been buying? Heather has spent most of her cash on her homes of sin. She reportedly had a $2 million pool put into her England home. She bought a $5 million apartment in NYC and spent around $12 million in renovating her other joints. Heather also paid her staff members around $500,000. Recently, she donated $1 million in vegetarian food to a group of kids in the Bronx. Yes, because kids really love tofu dogs and bird seed patties.

Some source said, “Heather’s been moaning her money isn’t going as far as she thought, but she’s just burning her way through it. She reckons she has spent £10million since the divorce and still doesn’t have a finished house to live in. She hasn’t changed. In her eyes the whole world is against her.”

Oh Heather, your eyes aren’t lying to you, but you have to be a smart whore. Looks don’t last forever….or in your case…..your wooden leg isn’t going to stay fresh for eternity. You have to depend on yourself, because there’s probably not a rich man on this planet who will get near you without at least a dozen lawyers surrounding him. Learn to be a frugal slut. And if you really need money that bad, then you can always leak a sex tape. Hey, some bitches are into that sort of shit!

Battle Of The Crazies

Something tells me that Heather Mills can’t stay away from a court room for too long or her leg starts to get all splintery. The cunt loves a good lawsuit. This time she’s suing her former spokesbitch and fellow crazy, Michele Elyzabeth. By the way, you have to read her name with a lisp. That’s the correct way. Try it again. Mithell Elithabeth.

When Heather and Michele parted ways a little while ago, Michele went to the papers claiming all types of shit. She said Heather purposely tried to smear Paul McCartney’s name during their divorce. She also called Heather a money-obsessed witch with no heart. Let’s all say it together now: tell us something we don’t know!

Heather wants $500,000 from Michele for libel, breach of confidence and illegal lie-telling.

If Heather sued every whore that has called her a “bitch,” she would have to drag in 99% of the world’s inhabitants including animals and plants. I’m sure my fern calls her a “dumb cunt” on a weekly basis.

Source: DM

Michele Elyzabeth Is No Longer Heather Mills’ PR Whore

Heather Mills’ insanely hot and equally crazy publicist, Michele Elyzabeth (with Bijou), has quit her job. Michele worked for Heather for 4 years and claims she is still owed money.

Michele told Extra (read this with a lisp), “After working for Heather Mills for the past four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person. Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during which she called me ‘stupid.’ I reminded her that she was not ‘God’ and she answered, ‘I will never ever talk to you again.’

I have been very patient in my dealings with Heather, however, I cannot take any more. I have given her substantial unpaid time and attention. I am owed money. I refuse to be subjected to her outbursts. On reflection and given the way I have been treated, I now have sympathy with much of what the British press has reported about her.“

Okay, if Michele Elyzabeth is calling you crazy, then it’s time to shuffle off to the looney bin. That’s the pot calling the kettle FUCKING INSANE! Michele needs to go to the looney bin herself for working for Heather for four damn years and giving her unpaid time. Look at Bijou’s face. Even he’s thinking, “I’m with stupid.”

If Heather ever called me stupid, I’d rip off her fake leg, shove it up her caca hole, take it out and then kindly re-attach it. I’m mean, but not THAT mean. She wouldn’t even have to say the entire word. She would just have to say, “You are stu-” and it would be “game over.”

Below is a YouTube video Michele made last year when she was still friendly with Heather. Fast forward to around 5:10 to hear Michele say “Baba Walthas.” It makes my tongue tremble.

Would You Expect Anything Less From Heather Mills?

Heather Mills promised to donate $20,000 to a disabled mother in Russia to pay for her artificial legs. Of course, the hag never came through.

In 2003, Maria Rybkina lost her legs in a train accident. She took to the streets of Russia begging for cash to get her fake legs. Maria soon found help from a British couple, Robin and Inna Barratt, who tried to help her come up with the money. The couple decided to call Heather Mills’ foundation and they received a call back from her. Heather promised the couple that she would pay for Maria’s fake legs and all her surgeries.

Robin said, “She promised she would also provide all the medical support needed to get her walking again. She told us that because her charity only helped victims of landmines, she would support Maria from her own personal finances.” Heather even flew to Moscow and posed for a few pictures with Maria.

As time went on, Maria never saw the money. Heather kept making empty promises, but the cash never came through. The couple finally found a company to provide Maria with free artificial legs and now she can walk again. No thanks to Heather!

In her recent divorce case, Heather told the judge she needed over $1 million a year for her charitable work.

Yup, Heather is still the most vile cunt in the world. Every now and again, we need stories like this to remind us. Or we can just look at a picture of her. I’m surprised Heather didn’t give the woman two of her old left legs.

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Heather Mills Won’t Go Away

Heather Mills can’t take a hint, now can she? People have probably screamed in her face to “go the fuck way,” but she won’t listen. Heather is in talks to star in the next season of “Celebrity Apprentice.” Heather is no stranger to American reality TV. Her ass already lost “Dancing with the Stars.”

Access Hollywood (via MSNBC) reports that Donald Trump approached Heather, but she’s still thinking about it.

The Donald really isn’t thinking this through. If you piss Heather off, she’ll pour a glass of water over your head. I’m pretty sure the dead cat on Donald’s head isn’t waterproof.