When A Picture Is Worth A Thousand !!!!!s

Here’s Prince Hot Ginge making what some would call the “Ginge on a Cross” or “King of the Ginges” pose, but what I call the “imaginary blowjob and double finger bang” pose, because I’m romantic like that. PHG stretched and flexed with Olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt in Jamaica this morning as part of his royal tour to up the production of panty pudding in the Caribbean.

You know, earlier I was at my favorite place on the Internet, The Daily Fuckery, and read some of the comments people made about this blessed event. A few people said that PHG is nothing but a ginger-crusted scab who gets paid to pose in silly photo-ops while they’re slaving away in front of the broiler making meat pies out of human flesh to pay their rent! (Everything I know about the British economy, I learned from Sweeney Todd.) Those people are so off base that they’re licking dirty jockstraps in the dugout with the Kardashians. PHG is doing the work of a saint. Every nation deserves to know what it feels like to quiver in the loins at the sight of PHG sucking off an invisible peen made from the same air they’re breathing. It’s life-changing. If I didn’t already think Phoebe Price is the Mother Teresa of gingers, I’d say PHG is.

I would write more slobbery words pulled from my ass about PHG, but these pictures and I have a date with Photoshop.

Happy Belated 4/20 From Ron Weasley!

Last night this picture of Rupert Grint allegedly starring in a one-ginge version of The Sorcerer’s Stoned (or Chambers of Sassafras, or Order of the Bong, etc…) at a Harry Potter cast party went around and some are saying it’s a look-alike and others are adding this to the reasons why they get a heart-on for Ron Weasley. The Study of Rupert Grint’s Facial Features class starts as the same time as my Sketching DanRad’s Dick class, so I lack the expertise needed to make a qualified decision.

Either way, this picture is still a gift, because it has a mop of ginger, a bong and arm muscles that look like hard ass cheeks. At least, I see a pair of hard ass cheeks when I look at his arm muscles, but that could be the contact high typing.

Source: Stupid Celebrities via ONTD

Curtsy Before The Goddess Of Fire And Her Queen!

That’s if you’re not already on the floor from “stop, drop and rolling” after being hit by a flaming ball of scorching hot loveliness flying out off of the tips of Rojo Caliente’s delicate eyelashes. Just when I thought another weekend was going to roll by without being blessed by rays from the gayelle sun, these pictures bear hugged my eyeballs and gave me a reason to go on. Because we all know that Rojo Caliente is the cure for the common everything! This is totally me right now.

Here we have the always beautiful human soul defibrillator and her queen holding court at the Royal Home Depot Ball in Vermont yesterday. No, they are really at the Susan G. Komen Global Awards at the Kennedy Center in DC last night. The new Goddess of Fire looked beautifully handsome in another handmade, one-of-a-kind tuxedo from Men’s Warehouse exclusive “Sharp As All Fuck” collection. And only Cynthia Nixon can pull off a gown made from bed sheets charred by Rojo’s touch.

How those men behind Rojo and Mrs. Rojo can just sit there like nothing is beyond me. This is some “get on your knees and worship until you pass out” shit.

The Secret To Shaun White’s Beauty

True fact: That is not a light behind Olympic gold medalist Shaun White. That’s the bright beam of light that radiates off of his ginger fall of follicles. If you’re ever caught in a blackout, make sure Shauna White is with you. Not only will he light the room, but if you pull your top up, his ginger fire will warm the nip out of your nipples.

So how does Shaun White keep his hair Rojo Caliente fresh? People asked the US snowboarder this majorly importante question, and he answered:

“My secret is an awesome new product – called water. It’s pretty curly on its own. I just use the hotel shampoo and conditioner and wash it every other day, because otherwise it gets huge. Two days of snowboarding in a helmet helps — it looks better dirtier.”

Shampoo and water? Uh huh. Translation: Shaun’s beauty secret is just that…..A SECRET! You know Shaun marinates his hair in a bowl of saffron water every night and sleeps with a cap full of chili oil and hot sauce. We know the ginge truth!