Giada De Laurentiis And Her Husband Of 11 Years Are Over

If you regularly read and believe the blind items, then I’m sure you’re still on the floor and numb with potent shock after reading this surprising and stunning news. Nobody saw it coming. “Not even she saw it coming, but she did feel it coming….” – John Mayer and Drake, etc…

Giada De Laurentiis announced on Facebook last night that she and her husband of 11 years, Todd Thompson, have been separated for months and I guess that time apart convinced them that they shouldn’t be married to each other’s asses anymore. It happens. Sometimes when you get a taste of that single life, you don’t want to stop tasting it. The supposed Blow Job Queen of the Blind Items spit this out about the end of her marriage:

After an amicable separation since July, Todd and I have decided to end our marriage. Although our decision to separate comes with a great deal of sadness, our focus on the future and overwhelming desire for our family’s happiness has given us the strength to move forward on separate, yet always connected paths. Todd and I share a beautiful daughter and a lifetime of great memories that we both treasure more than anything. We are so thankful for our friends and family, and really appreciate the support in this time of change.

Neither Giada or Todd have filed for divorce yet. But I’m sure if he files, he’ll write, “Because if I have to listen to her pronounce prosciutto as ‘PRO-SHOO-TOE’ one more fucking time,” next to “reason for divorce.”

I skimmed through the comments under Giada’s break-up announcement on FB and of course some people told her to stick it out and work through it, because marriage is sacred and they should stay married for the sake of their 6-year-old daughter Jade. Blah blah blah. Whatever. Giada and Todd were married for 11 years and that’s at least 24 lifetimes in celebrity years. Also, it’s been rumored that Giada boned John Mayer (she denied it), so it probably killed the romance when Todd wrapped his face with antibiotics-covered Saran Wrap every time she asked for a kiss.

Giada de Laurentiis Is A Spitter

According to Page Six, the blind items are telling lies. Giada de Laurentiis isn’t a swallower. She’s a spitter!

The Italian lollipop once told Health.com that people are always asking her how it’s possible for her to eat all that delicious food and stay as skinny as a parakeet’s pinky nail. Giada said at the time that she only eats a little bit of everything and doesn’t overstuff herself. But a source tells Page Six that when Tweety Bird’s human sister shoots her Food Network show, she doesn’t swallow anything and keeps a spit bucket nearby. Everything that goes into her mouth, comes out. Some source spit this out into Page Six’s bucket:

“When Giada films her cooking show, she never eats. Never. When she is making drinks and food that she has to drink or eat, they have a dump bucket that is brought out the second they cut. Sometimes when they are shooting her taking bites out of food like cake, they have an assistant take the bite (so you only see teeth and a mouth), and then they cut back to her taking an empty fork out of her mouth to resume filming. She does not eat at all while filming.”

Giada’s rep, Stephen Huvane (yes, Jennifer Aniston’s Stephen Huvane), spit at Page Six’s story. Stephen says that Giada does eat her own food, but sometimes they shoot three episodes in one day “and they do multiple takes on a close-up of her eating. She doesn’t always eat and swallow every time, since they can do sometimes six to 10 takes with three episodes a day, and that would be like eating six to eight meals a day.”

“She doesn’t always eat and swallow every time” is the new definition of TOO EASY.

Don’t they all do this? Well, all of them except for Guy Fieri who definitely swallows all that crap.  But other than him, I thought all TV food tricks were spitters. That’s why watching those food shows is painful sometimes. I know that they didn’t finish the dish and probably spit that food into a bucket. What a waste. Since Alicia Silverstone is living that green life and cares about reducing waste, she should volunteer to be a human bucket on cooking show sets. After the take, the host can bird feed her the food they chewed up and then she can bird feed it to her son. Nothing will go to waste!