Sabrina The 33-Year-Old Bitch?

Last week, Melissa Joan Hart prayed a million times that Farrah Fawcett would not go off to heaven. And not because the earth would be without one more angel, but because she wanted to be on the cover of People Magazine so desperately. Thoughts like that should be saved for your conversations with Satan.

Page Six says that while promoting her candy store at KTLA’s studios in Los Angeles, Melissa Joan Hart was overheard telling someone off-camera that she hoped Farrah wouldn’t die, so she could stay on the cover of the magazine. Farrah’s death would’ve knocked off her off.

Melissa should have worried less about Farrah and more about what the Photoshop artistes would do to her. Maybe if she did that, she wouldn’t have a serious case of the jaggeds and her hair wouldn’t look like Kim Zolciak’s winter merkin.

Out Of The Hospital!

Farrah Fawcett will be home on Easter, because she busted out of the hospital yesterday, a week after she was admitted. The news about Farrah’s condition was all over the place. One minute, she wasn’t doing too good, the next she was doing better, so it’s nice to hear that the latter was true and now she’s well enough to go home.

Farrah’s cancer specialist said she was hospitalized for internal bleeding, “The pain from the hematoma has improved substantially and she is walking. Her mood was upbeat and she is in good spirits. She’s particularly looking forward to spending Easter at home with her family.” Unfortunately, he also added that the cancer has spread to her liver.

Farrah left the hospital yesterday with Ryan O’Neal by her side. Her junked-out ginger son, Redmond, is still laying in a cell after his stupid ass was busted with heroin in a jail parking lot. Farrah doesn’t need to worry about that foolery right now. She should just snuggle into a Snuggie, eat some Peeps and watch this video of a bulldog kissing a little orangutan. I think it might have healing properties.

How Did Ryan O’Neal Celebrate Farrah’s Health?

Farrah Fawcett recently was told by her doctors that she’s cancer free! How did her ex-husband, Ryan O’Neal celebrate? He got into a fist fight with his son, Griffin! During the fight at Ryan’s Malibu home, a gun was fired by Ryan. Sources say that Griffin’s friend sustained some kind of injuries and was taken to the hospital.

Ryan was arrested yesterday morning and booked on charges of assault with a deadly weapon and negligent discharge of a firearm. He was released after he posted $50,000 bail.

Damn even rich people get hillbilly? Fighting with guns? That sounds like something KFed and Britney would do.

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Farrah Fawcett’s Perfect Birthday Wish

Farrah Fawcett has been told she’s cancer-free. This is the best 60th Birthday pressie she could ever receive. She announced that she was fighting cancer back in October.

Dr. Gary Gitnick, Fawcett’s lead physician at UCLA, said the actress “has had a full and complete response to treatment” and “her prognosis is excellent.”

Farrah never said what kind of cancer she was treated for, but methinks it’s cause she had ass cancer. Ryan O’Neal revealed she was being treated for anal cancer.

Long live Farrah! May she continue to bring us craziness for many years to come!

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