When Timothée Chalamet saw Austin Butler singing and gyrating as Elvis Presley on the big screen, he said, “Hold my… (*checks age*) beer.” Actually, it’s been a few years since 27-year-old Timothée signed on to play a young Bob Dylan in a biopic pic about Bob’s early days in NYC with James Mangold set to direct. But it looks like it’s actually going to happen, and Timothée is preparing his vocal cords for the role. Because the strength of a biopic now rests mainly on how long its leading actor can keep talking like the film’s subject after wrapping, so if Timmy can hold it down, he’s gonna be accepting his future Oscar with a nasally 60s cadence in no time!
Bob Dylan didn’t show up in Stockholm, Sweden to collect his Nobel Prize in literature award. They weren’t exactly expecting his grizzled ass to show up. From all the bitchery that ensued after his win was announced, can you blame the crusty folk legend? In his stead, pioneering rock n’ roll poetess Patti Smith gifted the audience with a performance of Bob’s “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall” accompanied by an orchestra. Things went a little stumbly when Patti messed up the lyrics.
Earlier this month, baby boomer hippies pulled out their dried-up flower crown from the 1960s and smoked a celebratory joint (cut with Metamucil, of course) in honor of Bob Dylan winning the Nobel Peace Prize for Literature. Some were happy about the news, some weren’t and some were meh about it. Bob Dylan himself seemed to fall into the last category, because when the Nobel Prize people called him several times to congratulate him and invite him to the ceremony in December, the response they got was a silent cloud, blowin’ in the wind. Bob Dylan never called them back and didn’t even bring it up in the shows he performed after his win was announced. But Bob Dylan has finally broke his LEGENDARY SILENCE and well, you better Gorilla Glue your desk to the floor and hold on to that bitch tight, because his powerful excitement will knock you the hell over.
Last week, music legend Bob Dylan became the first songwriter ever to receive the Nobel Prize for Literature. The Nobel Prize committee all agreed that Bob Dylan deserved the award for being a “great poet” and for creating “new poetic expressions.” The only problem is, it appears that Bob Dylan isn’t that interested in being a Nobel Prize recipient.
It’s my understanding that becoming a member of the EGOT club is pretty much the entertainment career equivalent to beating Bowser at the end of Super Mario 3. It’s kind of a big deal to some. Bob Dylan needs both a Tony and an Emmy to get that EGOT. But after today, I have a feeling he probably won’t be shedding any frustrated tears while writing the closing number for a Broadway musical called Blowin’ or trying to think of snappy jokes for a sitcom called Who’s The Bob?. Who cares about that Tony and Emmy? He’s in the GONP club now, and that’s way harder to get into.