What In The Hell Kind Of GD Everything Is This?

This is doing bad, bad things to my hangover. All those fugly patterns. It looks like the scrap bin at a Jo-Ann Fabric got explosive diarrhea.

At last night’s 55-hour-long act of violent torture we call the Emmys, almost everybody wore a yawn of dress that should only be worn at a Christian high school prom in the South (see: Carrie Underwears), so Lena Dunham gets points for trying to be different. But this is the wrong kind of different. This is some “trying to look as messy as possible by wearing a tablecloth from the home decor section of Burlington Coat Factory” hipster shit. That hair looks like it was cut with safety scissors by a pre-schooler with severe ADHD and it makes her look like the words “by Mercer Mayer” should be over her head. And that dress. It’s like she went to Prada, who made this shit, handed them a picture of King-Size Homer’s muumuu and said, “Give me the gown version of THIS!” It looks like a tent and I bet if you peeked in there, you’d find 4 Brooklyn squatters sharing a roach joint in there. But I do love her eye makeup, because it makes her eyes look like cicadas shedding their shells. If all else fails, make your eyes look like a scene out of Planet Earth.

Here’s Lena and her mom paying tribute to St. Angie and James Haven by kissing lips on the red carpet and also pictures of Zosia Mamet, Allison Williams and Adam Driver.

Pics: Getty, Splash, Wenn.com

Allison Williams Wants Jennifer Lawrence To Be Jealous Of Her

Allison Williams, who is best known for being Brian Williams’ daughter and for playing Miranda on the reboot of Sex and the City called Girls, talked to The Los Angeles Times (via Gossip Cop) about getting into the acting game. Allison said that her parents wouldn’t let her audition for stuff until she was out of college and watching Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls made her think that she was never going to make it since she didn’t start acting when she was still in Pampers. Allison realized that it’s not that kind of game and then said some seriously delusional shit about Jennifer Lawrence.

“When ‘Mean Girls’ came out, I just thought Lindsay Lohan was genius. I didn’t understand how I could ever come close to that if they didn’t let me start young. I’ve come to realize it’s not a zero-sum game. When I see performances like Jennifer Lawrence’s in ‘Silver Linings Playbook,’ I think, ‘God, what a great role.’ But maybe, just maybe, she watches ‘Girls’ and maybe, just maybe, she wishes she was on ‘Girls.'”

So when Allison Williams, who should’ve been born in the 70s because she could’ve been the Breck Girl of all Breck Girls, is brushing her hair a hundred times while watching Girls, she’s thinking about how Jennifer Lawrence might also be brushing her hair a hundred times while wishing that she was on Girls? Bitch needs to stop, drop and roll right out of here. Like Jennifer Lawrence really wants to piss on the train tracks and snot into a bath tub for a TV show on HBO! ……Actually, Jennifer Lawrence probably wants to do all those things and she’d do it for a fat j and a McDonald’s cheeseburger.