Drew Barrymore’s 1-Month-Old Newborn Daughter Makes Her Magazine Cover Debut

Seen above doing an almost spot-on impersonation of me “I CAN’T-ing” at all of the pieces of dumb trash on I Wanna Marry Harry last night (Note: It would’ve been a “totally” spot-on impersonation if that baby’s mouth was covered with dried Nutella and a long-haired black chihuahua was sitting on her chest), Frankie Barrymore Kopelman was pulled out of her mom’s body just a month ago and she’s already got her first magazine cover. You know how Linda Evangelista said a million years ago that she doesn’t get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day? Well, I’m sure Frankie got way more than $10,000 for this cover and she didn’t even have to wake up to pose for it. Take that, Linda!

Since Drew is an old-fashioned kind of celebrity, she’s not going to post a picture of her six-second-old new baby friend on Instagram for free. That would be crazy. What’s the point of being a celebrity with baby making parts that can double as an ATM if you’re not going to give a magazine pictures of your baby for a check? So Drew got that money in exchange for pictures of her family and an interview which included these words about how Drew wants to give her girls stability and no access to drugs (read: things she didn’t have as a kid).

Barrymore, 39, says her own tumultuous childhood influenced what she sees as most important for her kids.

She wanted Olive “to have a sibling, because I really would have liked that in my life,” she says. “And always being on time, being there when I say I’m going to be there. Creating a real stable home. I know when my daughter wants to swing higher and jump into the pool and all of these things, she feels safe. To make your kids feel safe is everything.”

Dear Lindsay Lohan, use that pen you stole and those rolling papers to take note! This could be you (but probably not).

Here’s Drew wearing a giant nun’s habit as a dress at the German premiere of URLAUBSREIF (that’s German for “Razzie Magnet”) with Adam Sandler in Berlin yesterday. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure Baby Frankie is giving her official review of her mom’s new movie in that picture above.

Pics: Wenn.com

Adam Sandler Ruins A Sweet Song With Drew Barrymore By Wearing Fugly Track Pants

I once knew this girl who’s boyfriend proposed to her in a pair of old, loose off-white briefs after waking up from a nap. She said that even though she totally loved him and wanted to get married, it was hard accepting an engagement ring from a dude who looked like Donnie Wahlberg in The Sixth Sense. At the time I didn’t understand how gross that was (“It’s not like he proposed from the toilet while taking a dump, right?”) but now, thanks to seeing Adam Sandler profess his love to Drew Barrymore in a pair of old track pants, I do.

On Wednesday night, Adam Sandler reunited with his movie wife Drew Barrymore on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and sang a cute song about how they come together every 10 years to film a movie where they fall in love. Save for the pants (which I’ll get to later) this song gets 0% shade from me. Yes, Adam sucks at singing. Yes, Drew looks like she’s got a bad case of pregnancy farts and would rather be at home dipping a dill pickle into a tub of Americone Dream. Yes, Jimmy’s guitar playing is giving me flashbacks to Christian teen talent shows. But I will go to my grave hugging a VHS copy of The Wedding Singer, so yeah – I loved it.

Except for Adam’s pants. Call me Judy Prudy, but there’s something so unsettling about seeing a grown man wear loose pants in public, regardless of their varietal (sweat, track, pyjama, drawstring linen). It’s not right. I shouldn’t be subjected to the outline of your limp, lifeless dangle slithering around under the draped folds of a cotton-poly blend when you walk through the mall. I’m sure Adam Sandler was aware he was going on a talk show, so unless Jimmy Fallon sent a group of balaclava-wearing thugs to kidnap Adam from his home while he was cleaning the garage, and the kidnappers forgot to ask his wife for a pair of pants, there’s no reason for him to be wearing those elastic-waist abominations.