Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Off-Brand Ginger Barbie from Nissan’s 90s era “Toys” Commercial!
The Super Smoke-A-Bowl is coming up in a little under two weeks. And while ex-NFL-er (for now) Tom Brady shocks his pristine sugar-free insides by stress-eating a Costco sheet cake as he tearfully watches his beloved soulmate, the Lombardi Trophy, end up in the warm arms of another, most of us will be focused on the important shit like Rihanna and the commercials. Okay, maybe not the commercials so much since M&M’s has already teased theirs, and it’s a stunt queen joke. But since Commercial-palooza is soon upon us, I looked up big commercials from the past and was reminded of Nissan’s Toys commercial from the mid-90s. And I can’t believe I forgot about it since it seemed to play during every commercial break for years, so it should be permanently embedded into my brain.
Nissan’s Toys commercial came out in 1996, and it promoted the 300ZX. It came out a year after Toy Story, so yeah, it was pretty much a knockoff of that. And the commercial also featured a bootleg Indiana Jones/G.I. Joe (Iowa Jon?) and Barbie’s ginger second cousin twice removed at a Dollar Tree discount bin. The commercial’s plot is pretty basic. Indiana Faux wakes up in a toy dinosaur’s mouth, gets himself to the floor, and jumps into his toy Nissan 300ZX before zooming on to a different part of the house. He then pulls up to Bootleg Barbie’s house, and after she spots him, she slips into something hotter and comes out looking like a Rock of Love Bus reject or like Peg Bundy in Kelly Bundy’s clothes (aka elegance personified). Indiana Faux and Bootleg Barbie speed away as her boyfriend, Kounterfeit Ken, realizes he’s been dumped for a fake G.I. Joe!
In not-at-all shocking news, this commercial brought on a Major Corporation vs. Major Corporation battle when Mattel sued Nissan for trademark and copyright infringement. Even though the names Barbie, G.I. Joe, and Ken are not mentioned in the ad, Mattel argued that the toys in Nissan’s ad bear a “striking resemblance” to their toys. That lawsuit came the same year that Mattel sued Aqua for the masterpiece Barbie Girl. Mattel and Nissan ended up settling, but it put an end to Nissan’s Toys commercial. There was a sequel that didn’t air that long, and it was pretty much a redo of the original, only it moved the riveting action from inside the house to the backyard.
And what really makes those commercials a 90s kind of special is the WTF random appearance of the pepaw actor playing “Mr. K” (aka the Godfather of Nissan) at the end. Mattel should’ve been grateful that knock-offs of their toys appeared in an ad with such a 90s commercial legend!
Pic: YouTube